Tuesday, January 1, 2013

First Ultrasound

Well, our first ultrasound yesterday was disappointing to say the least.  It could have been worse, but it definitely did not provide the reassurance we were hoping for.

It was very difficult to see anything on the screen, at least for our untrained eyes.  I expected to at least see a small blob, but we didn't.  What we did see was a circle that you had to strain to see.  The doctor told us that was the yolk sac.  There was a little tiny speck of white that we could barely see if she held the wand just right.  She said that was the fetus.  We had to take her word for it.

What she also said was she couldn't find a flicker of the heart beat.  Nope, maybe she saw it.  She's not really sure.  She said it's probably just still too early to see it.  (I was 6 weeks, 3 days yesterday)  She took the measurements and said it's measuring small, but that it's most likely because it implanted late.  She said she's not worried.  Just before she took the wand out, she said she thought she saw some flickering.  Hhmmm....

Hubby and I both feel like she had to say she wasn't worried.  We also kind of feel like she was just making it up that she saw the flickering just to make us feel better.  We are trying not to panic.

I am supposed to continue with the PIO injections and taking the estrace twice a day.  We are scheduled for another ultrasound next week on Monday, which will put me at 7 weeks, 3 days.  I really, really hope that we get good news that day.

I still have not felt any morning sickness.  I have read on other blogs with women about as far along as I am that have been having it for a week or two already.  My sister had morning sickness with all 3 of her babies, starting around 5 weeks.  But I also know there are a few ladies that don't ever really feel sick at all throughout their entire pregnancies.  Could I be so lucky?

There are times when I do feel like maybe I have some pregnancy symptoms.  I have to pee a lot.  But then again, I have ALWAYS had to pee a lot.  I drink a lot of water and it tends to go right through me.  I have been pretty tired and taking naps.  I have had several nights of insomnia which could be the contributing factor to the naps.  The insomnia could be due to worry rather than being pregnant.  I've been pretty hungry.  More so than seems normal, but maybe I'm just hungry.  There have been a few times that I couldn't finish my meal, but then again, maybe I was just full.  But then that never happens to me.  I've always been able to finish my plate.  However, the last two days I've actually gone back for seconds.  Uh oh.  What does that mean?  I have read that most girls experience a LOT of breast tenderness.  Mine really haven't hurt.  They were kind of itchy and sensitive the other day, but it really hasn't been that big of a deal.  I remember when I was taking the stim drugs that my boobs were extremely sensitive and sore.  I feel nothing like that now.

I am just sharing with you a taste of the ramblings that have been going through my mind lately.  It was difficult waiting for that first ultrasound and now I have to wait a whole extra week to hopefully get the reassurance that everything is progressing as it should.  I have to say that it really sucks!

In addition to all of that, remember my cousin and his wife that announced their pregnancy at our family Christmas party?  I found out over the weekend that she had a miscarriage on Friday.  That is her second miscarriage.  I feel so bad for them.  My heart hurts for them.  It also makes me that much more nervous for myself.

I want to go pee on a stick, but I really don't want to see that the line has faded.  I don't want to see that and then have to wait till Monday to go in.  We leave town on Thursday for the weekend, so I wouldn't be able to call and get in early.  We are leaving for a softball tournament in Phoenix.  We are taking our traveling team there for a big college exposure tournament.  If anything, at least that will be a big distraction to help Monday come sooner.

I did pee on a stick last Thursday.  I just couldn't wait until the ultrasound!  The pregnancy line showed darker than the pink baseline.  I felt pretty good about it.  And then we had our appointment yesterday.  I don't know what to think!!!!  And the only damn craving I have is to pee on another damn stick!

15 comments:

  1. I have had the "I'm concerned" conversation with the RE before. If they are worried, I do believe they'll tell you rather than give you a false sense of security. If the RE is not worried, then that is probably true.

    It could be that you had a crappy u/s machine. Or perhaps the place where the embryo implanted is in a place that is hard to see. (That happens!)

    Have hope! All is not over. :)

    Many hugs.

    PS - the boobs never grew with my twin pregnancy, either. I was so disappointed! I was hoping for more than my measly nearly A size...

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    1. It wasn't my regular doctor that did the ultrasound yesterday. I couldn't help but think in the back of my mind that she said she wasn't worried so that she wouldn't have to be the one having that conversation with us. I actually like her a lot and do trust her, but it's hard not to question everything.

      Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. It means so much to me! It's good to know that your boobs didn't change too much even with twins! I will keep in hoping that you are right and not all is lost :)

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  2. I am sorry that your appointment was not more reassuring! This sounds very stressful. I am totally with you on assessing every possible symptom and twinge! Try not to over think it and relax (easier said than done, I know). Some women have tons of symptoms and some very have any morning sickness at all - I will have my fingers crossed that you are one of those lucky ones!!!

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  3. Thank you! It is definitely stressful, but I am doing my very best to stay relaxed.

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  4. Sorry you didn't get more reassurance. Hoping you get to hear that beautiful heartbeat next week. I also agree with the previous commenter. I think if there was reason to worry the RE would say something.

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  5. Thanks! You guys are making me feel better about it already! I'll just keep trying to think positive thoughts

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  6. I hate that you couldn't see a heartbeat, but don't give up hope yet! My first ultrasound was at 5 weeks and the dr. couldn't see ANYTHING, not even a sac. The only reassuring thing she could tell me was that my lining looked good. Try not to put too much emphasis on pregnancy symptoms, or the lack thereof, because they will change from one hour to the next.

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    1. Woah, that would be stressful to not even see the sac! Thanks for the encouragement.

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  7. I agree with every one else. The RE would tell you something if she was concerned, and not just pawn it off on the next person. Sounds like she wasn't sure either way and that's what she conveyed.
    Re pregnancy symptoms - don't over think these either. It actually sounds like you have some to me, but I've known some people that have very few. No breast tenderness or sickness. (Beyatches- JK). My mom didn't have any, but I was a mess with them. My BFF had a relatively non-symptom pregnancy except the occasional emotional outburst or insomnia problem.
    I totally get the ramblings thing. Happens to me all the time.

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    1. Yeah, I've since remembered that this same doctor did our very first IUI and she was very blunt at the time and let me know that it most likely was not going to work. You all have helped me to remember that!

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  8. Sorry you didn't get more reassurance, but a yolk sac and fetal pole are both really great things to see at six weeks. I hope next week's ultrasound shows that beautiful flickering heartbeat and gives you lots of reassurance.

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  9. The doctor saw pretty much exactly what you described when I was newly pregnant. It was basically a tiny black spot and they couldn't confirm anything. My husband and I were on pins and needles while we waited it out. I wasnt having any symptoms and spent a solid week freaking out only to discover that I was still pregnant and my baby was fine. I now have a 4 month old. I just wanted to give you something to hold on hoping for even though I know you're probably too scared to be excited.

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    1. How far along were you when you had your first ultrasound? Thank you so much for the reassurance. It's nice to hear from someone else that experienced the same thing and it turned out okay!

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  10. Thank goodness for softball and fellow bloggers!!! Auntie

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  11. I am going through the samething you went through but I have a medical condition that makes me have miscarriges. First baby I had 1 and the 2nd time I actually had my boy and now I'm pregnant and no one can tell me how far along I am. I went to my Ultrasound today and I saw the sac with a tadpole but they couldn't see a flicker and couldn't hear a heartbeat and I saw my OBGYN after the Ultrasound and she told me that she thinks I'll miscarry in the next couple days but I have faith and I think I'll have this chance again. I have all the symtoms in the first trimester. Oh sometimes I get 2 periods a month. That's what throwing people off and of course I'm not sure and I wish I did. Well anyways I go to another Ultrasound on Monday to see if anything has changed. But what sucks is that this time I got new doctors and seems like no one knows nothing. I think time for new doctors after this next Ultrasound

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