Monday, January 14, 2013

The Non-Reveal Dinner

When we spent the weekend before New Years with Hubby's family at the coast, we made plans for his parents and Grandpa to come over for dinner and then go out to a movie.  We schemed all this up with the intention of announcing our pregnancy to them during the dinner.  We weren't planning on announcing publicly, but at least revealing our news with close family.

But then at our first ultrasound on December 31st, we didn't quite see the flicker of the heartbeat and definitely didn't hear it.  The fetus was also measuring small.  We were told this might be due to late implantation, so don't worry yet.  It wasn't the warm and fuzzy ultrasound news that we were hoping for, but it also wasn't the worst news.  We were still in limbo.

Our second ultrasound was exactly one week later.  We did get to see the heartbeat, but it was measuring low at only 108 beats/minute and it was still measuring small, but at least showed a weeks worth of growth in the one week that had passed.  Good news, but still not out of the woods yet.

Well, this past weekend on Saturday was our dinner with his parents and Grandpa.  We still kept the plans for dinner and a movie, but we did not feel comfortable revealing our news yet.  I know it's never a for sure thing until we actually bring that baby home from the hospital, but we just don't feel comfortable sharing our news until we actually get that confirmation of a strong heartbeat and continual, consistent growth.  So we just enjoyed our dinner and the time spent with family. 

So far, the ONLY people that know we are pregnant is my sister - which seems only fair since she is the one that helped us get pregnant in the first place.  She kinda put her body through a lot to donate her eggs to us.  Since I got to share the news with my sister, I told Hubby he could tell his brother.  Hubby was dying to tell somebody, so I told him it was okay to tell his brother.  That's it, only our siblings and their spouses.  We know we can trust them to keep our secret until we are comfortable telling everyone else.

We just don't feel like it is REAL yet.  I haven't been experiencing any morning sickness and it's too early to start showing.  We also haven't gotten the overwhelming great news at our ultrasounds to feel absolutely certain that this is going to work out.  I also have read way too many stories about miscarriages to hold the misguided belief that all pregnancies end with a happy ending.  So we continue to wait.....

In just 6.5 hours, I will be getting that third ultrasound.  Maybe then we will finally feel like we can at least share our news with family....


  1. Fingers crossed for a nice strong heartbeat and then the excitement of finally telling your family
    Good luck!

  2. Hoping this next ultrasound shows your perfect little one measuring on target and gives you reassurance. Good luck!

  3. I hope your ultrasound went well today! My fingers are crossed!

  4. Thank goodness for close siblings to be able to share with. Seeing Toni's post about finally telling your family, anxious to read more posts to see if you did that before getting your bad news. How much more heartbreaking and feeling that even though I have not had to do that, that I am hoping you didn't have to go through that too. But then again, if you did, there are those hugs and love that I wanted for you. To be anyonmous or not, either can be a blessing at times. Auntie