Tuesday, January 8, 2013

2nd Ultrasound

Yesterday I was 7 weeks, 3 days.  Or was it really 6 weeks, 5 days?  Are you confused?

From the date of egg retrieval and fertilization, yesterday I would have been 7 weeks, 3 days.  However, remember last week when I said the fetus was measuring small?  It is still measuring small.  It measured at 6 weeks, 5 days yesterday.

This may not be a problem, as it just might have implanted late.  I asked Dr. W what that means and she explained that when they transfer the embryo's, they are basically just floating around in your uterus.  Then it is the job of the embryo to implant.  It could have just taken a few days longer than usual. 

The good news is that from last weeks ultrasound to this week, the growth was exactly one week.  Measuring small is not a problem as long as the growth stays on track for the time period lapsed from week to week.

The other kind of good news, but maybe not....is that there was a heartbeat!  It was very exciting to see AND actually get to hear the heartbeat.  However, it was only 108 which I thought was probably a bit low based on everything I've read and Dr. W confirmed that.  She said the minimum they want to see is 100, which we've reached, but they really would like it to be around 120.

I am scheduled for another ultrasound a week from yesterday, so next Monday again to make sure the growth is on track and to hopefully see the heart rate a bit higher.  If the ultrasound shows another weeks growth and the fetus growing at a continuous rate, then Dr. W feels fairly comfortable graduating us out of the clinic to our regular OB (which I need to start shopping for a new OB!).

When the heartbeat came up on the screen, I was so relieved to see it.  Hubby started crying.  I love that he is so emotionally invested, but I'm not sure what is wrong with me.  I was excited, but I am having a hard time feeling attached and believing it is real.  It's been so long that we have waited for this moment, and now that it is here, I just don't feel pregnant.  Yes, I've had a few symptoms, but NOTHING major and all of them could honestly be chalked up to other things.  It's hard to feel attached to this pregnancy when we are so worried about it not sticking.  We didn't see the heartbeat with the first ultrasound and were told it's measuring small.  So we worried.  Now yesterday the heartbeat is low and it is still measuring small and we have to wait and worry for another week.  The great news is that the growth matched the time in between ultrasounds, but we are "not out of the woods yet" in Dr. W's words.  When will the time come that I am just able to enjoy this moment?

I want to google what it means that the heartbeat is only 108, but I am not going to because I know I will not like what I read.  I want to see/hear positive things.  I absolutely do not need more things to worry about.

One thing that I am happy about is the fact that I get another ultrasound so quickly.  I mean really, who gets three weeks in a row so early in their pregnancy?  Of course, as I type that, I start to question myself and think, well, maybe that is not a good thing.  Arg!

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On a different subject, our softball weekend in Phoenix was great!  The players had a great time, the parents had a great time, and it was a wonderful distraction for us getting to do something we love.  The only thing we were disappointed in is that there were not a lot of college coaches there.  It was supposed to be a college exposure tournament with top level DI coaches attending for recruiting purposes.  We only saw about three coaches.  The Minnesota coach followed our team pretty closely and was very interested in one of our pitchers.  It's an exciting process to be a part of, but we do wish the tournament was as advertised due to the traveling expenses to get there.
 
Arizona was great.  We loved the blue sky and 70* weather.  However, we knew it would be chilly in the mornings and evenings, but we did not expect it to be frozen!  On Saturday morning, we started our first game in 34* temperature!  It was so cold!  We were not expecting that.  But different than Oregon, it was 34* with no wind and it was dry!  That was a nice change.
 
Our team did great considering we have not been outside or hit off a live pitcher in 3 months!  It took us a bit to get back into the groove and hit the way the girls normally do.  We played 2 warm up games on Friday, losing the first game 0-2 and winning the second.  The actual tournament started on Saturday and we played 5 more games the rest of the weekend, going undefeated.  I'd say it was a pretty good weekend.

20 comments:

  1. Nothing is wrong with you - I think some of us just learn to numb ourselves after awhile. It's a defense mechanism. My hubby has broke down in tears too, when all I could do was stare out into nothing.
    That said - I think you just implanted late. Heartbeat is fantastic!!! I'm so happy for you. Stay away from evil Dr. Google. He's put more needless scares in me than I care to mention.

    Grow embie Grow!

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    1. Yeah, I'm not even gonna go there with Dr. Google. It's just not worth the extra worries. I'm just thankful there was at least a heartbeat! Thanks for the reassurance that I'm normal :)

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  2. I'm super happy you saw a heart beat! Xoxo

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    1. Thanks Kristi. That means a lot :)

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  3. I think it's a good idea to stay away from Dr. Google. It will just worry you even more than you are. Congrats on seeing a heartbeat!

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    1. Yep, not even going to look at the evil Dr. Google. I just don't need him right now.

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  4. Very happy you saw a heartbeat!! I hope your next ultrasound is good too and you just can chalk it up to late implantation!!

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  5. I went and looked...found info that said 90 and above is good at 6 weeks. I think you've got a late implanter, too. Many hugs, though.

    You're protecting your heart...that's very normal when you want something this badly. As each week passes, you'll relax a bit more until you realize you're REALLY pregnant. ;)

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    1. Thank you so much Stacie! That is awesome that you looked it up for me and it really means a lot. I'm just going to stay away from Dr. Google. It scares me too much to read the bad stuff.

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    2. Any time! Dr. Google is a blessing and a curse. It's good that you're staying away from it.

      Hey, thanks for the comment on the boys' video. I have another blog which isn't so kid focused and discusses the IF side of things if you're interested. Email me a heeeeerestorkey@gmail.com if you'd like that irl. Take care!

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    3. I just sent you an email. I like the kid stories, but I would love to read your back story as well. Thank you!

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  6. Heartbeat is a very promising sign! I do understand the fear you are feeling and just wanting everything to be perfect. Good luck on your next u/s and hoping that heartbeat is even stronger.

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  7. A week's worth of growth in a week is definitely the important thing! Fingers crossed for you!

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  8. I think I'd be the same as you...a little detached until I was absolutely sure I wasn't going to get my heart broken. But look at it this way...if something goes wrong you'd be devastated either way, so maybe it can't hurt to just start trying to get a little excited about it? All signs are good right now so I think maybe a little optimism is called for. I'll be excited for you!

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    1. Oh I'm a lot excited, but that doesn't change the fact that I just don't feel pregnant so it all just seems very unreal still. I appreciate your optimism and excitement though! Everything helps and it doesn't hurt to have some positive vibes sent our way! :)

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  9. The growth interval is reassuring, keeping my fingers crossed!

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    1. Agreed! Now I just need another weeks worth of growth :)

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  10. Reading your passions at the same time makes me smile. I enjoy reading the comments
    and thankful that you had these wonderful ladies to discuss this with and such positive feedback from them. As I am reading your worry and loving Hubby's emotions
    (and heart breaking for the 2 of you) of relief and happiness, I was thinking too,
    you are just protecting yourself on this roller coaster ride. So again, very thankful that you had such helpful, positive people to share with. As always, you are loved.

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