Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Should I Wait?

AF is about to make her visit.  Under normal circumstances, I would be thrilled because that is supposed to be the start of our FET cycle.  However, I've been debating if it is in our best interest to wait a month or two.  I really, really want to get this show on the road, but I haven't treated myself very well the past two months since my miscarriage.

To put it bluntly, I have gained 16 pounds.  I have been eating really crappy.  Like, beyond crappy.  I've enjoyed lots of chocolate chips, pizza, ice cream, more chocolate.... I wrote a post about how I was drowning my sorrows in food following my D&C in January.   The only problem is that I had trouble getting past those bad eating habits.  As a result of the bad food and 16 pounds, I know that my heart rate has been elevated and I'm sure my blood pressure is too.  I can feel it.

I've been working to clean up my diet and I REALLY need to start exercising (on the softball field doesn't really count).  I signed up for a 10k coming up in just one month!  Ahhhh!  But more than that, I just really want to be sure my body is the most hospitable, welcoming place for our two frozen embabies to implant.

AF should be making her visit any time.  In fact, I expect full flow by this evening.  Going on bcp's and then starting Lupron is NOT going to help me take this weight off.  I have a month and a half before the transfer, which is a legitimately a decent enough time to make a change.  However, I know the meds will prevent me from losing the weight.

I finally broke down and sent a message to my RE, letting her know the circumstances and to ask her opinion on whether we should move forward or delay.  We will see what she says...

35 comments:

  1. I think you need to just trust your gut and do what you think is best. You never want to have regrets.

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  2. You have the time to begin eating well and start exercising before the cycle and all would be fine. You may be bigger than you are normally, but from what I could tell, you are no where near a point where your BMI would hinder your chances. I'd guess that even 16 pounds heavier than your norm is still better than many people who are cycling!

    What this has to come down to is whether or not you are ready emotionally. No one can make that decision but you.

    Much love to you!

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    1. Thank you. I just want it to work!!! :)

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  3. I think you have enough time to work on your health. With that being said I don't like to wait. Definitely see what your RE offices advises you to do.

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    1. Yeah, I think I have time to at least clean up my diet at the very least. I don't want to wait, but more importantly, I just want it to work.

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  4. I'm no doctor, but I don't think 16 extra pounds would have an effect on your cycle. I think it's more about you being confident moving forward and knowing you won't have any regrets. You are the only one who can decide if you are ready or if you want to get healthier before moving ahead. Trust your gut.

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    1. It's nice that so many of you think that 16 lbs won't make that big of a difference. I'm not really concerned about the weight number in and of itself, but more about how it has effected me internally. Thank you for your thoughts.

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  5. Confidence is definitely important, so I am sure that whatever decision you make will be the right one! Thinking of you!

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  6. I would see what your RE says, but you also have to go with what your gut is telling you. You have the time to start making changes now and you have the cycle in front of you and the 10k to motivate you. 16 pounds is a lot, but it also not that much when it sounds like you're fairly healthy. Like Stacie said, even with that 16 pounds, I'm guessing you're healthier than many people who have successful cycles.

    I know it's hard to make the changes when you've gotten yourself into a rut, especially when that rut is shutting down your emotions with food, but if you want to badly enough, you'll find the way. I know you can.

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    1. I'm still waiting to hear from the RE. I just don't FEEL very healthy right now. But I also know HOW to make those changes, so maybe it will be okay. I just want the best environment possible for those embryos!

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  7. I agree with the other ladies, listen to your heart and you will know what to do. I know infertility treatments take a toll on our bodies and minds, and for me personally I was happy to be in a healthy place both mentally and physically when I went into this cycle. That being said, 15 pounds is really not that much and as long as you are in the game mentally, I say go for it!

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    1. You are right, it isn't that much, but it is amazing how different extra weight makes you feel. I've started cleaning things up, I'm just afraid I didn't start soon enough. Still waiting to hear back from the RE.

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  8. I agree with everyone else. Go with what your heart tells you!! Sending you so many thoughts as you figure out what direction to take!

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  9. Agree with the above. Don't focus on "weight loss" and calories. Eating clean will make you feel better and lose weight in the process. Whatever you decide, prayers for you <3

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    1. Oh I'm not worried about the actual number, but as I mentioned, I know it has effected my blood pressure and my heart rate too. I know WHAT to do, now it's just a matter of making those changes. I just don't want to go forward with the FET if it would be MORE successful by waiting a month. I just don't know!! Arg!

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  10. I agree with the others, that it doesn't sound like you're at a dangerous weight where it wouldn't critical for you to lose the weight, but if it will make you feel more confident in any way leading into the pregnancy, why not? I'm sure at this point it must feel that it you've waited long enough, what's another month or two?
    I've had similar thoughts, I was at my lowest weight just before my miscarriage, and while I've still been working out, i was on a winter schedule and put on a few pounds, so if my IUI doesn't work this cycle, I'll at least be happy about having more time to sort the weight out. I was actually thinking that if we get to IVF, I'd like to opt for a FET so I could lose my stim weight first.

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    1. You and I seem to be similar in our thinking here. I just don't want to waste these last 2 embryos we have if it will at all effect the success of the cycle. You are right though, maybe it's not too much weight. It just feels pretty horrible on, emotionally and physically.

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  11. Full steam ahead! Xoxo! Miss you!

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    1. Haha! Thanks KayBee :) I've missed you too and am so happy to be reconnected again!

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  12. Well Amber, I am up to date with your process and praying that whatever choice you and with your RE's help make, it will be the right one!!! I love you and wishing God's blessings on you and looking forward to chatting with you through this process. "Please God, let Amber and Hubby be blessed with their heart's desire!" Auntie

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    1. Thanks Auntie! Love you too. Thanks for the prayers :)

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  13. If it was me I know I would not be able to wait that's for sure! Trust your instinct and pray for a lead in which ever direction is best :)

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    1. Thanks. I don't WANT to wait, but I want it to work. Still waiting to hear from the RE. Thanks again for your positive words.

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  14. Gosh, I hope you do what's best for you! I don't want to wait, but I have to. That wasn't really my choice. I think you do what your RE thinks is best!

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    1. I'm still waiting to hear back. Usually she responds much quicker, so I'm thinking she may be discussing it with the other doctors. We will see....

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  15. Goodness, there's no right answer, is there. If it were me, I'm pretty sure I'd be asking the same question, whether it was about weight or anxiety levels or how much processed food I consumed during the last several months. But, I also know that what I would really be looking for was not whether 16 lbs would influence the FET outcome but whether or not someone could offer me more of a guarantee. And if I avoid doing it now, I'm further away from potential disappointment. But that is just me and I don't always think in the most rational ways. Go with your gut, lady. And then try to feel good about your decision. I doubt 16 lbs is going to matter one way or the other.

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    1. Thank you. I appreciate your thoughts! I just want it to have the best chance for success. Like you, I just want that guarantee. It's kind of too bad we can never really get that guarantee.

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  16. It's never convenient to be pregnant. Just do it.

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    1. Well, it wasn't a question of whether or not it would be "convenient" to be pregnant, but more of a concern about whether my current state of health (or lack of) will effect me being ABLE to get pregnant. This is my last chance at being a Mommy. I want to give those embryos the best chance of survival. "Convenience" of pregnancy has never been the concern.

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  17. Hoping that you don't gain too much weight this cycle and that you can still do the FET.

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    1. I'm not really worried about gaining more weight, but I know the meds would most likely prevent me from taking it off. I just want to be sure to give those little embryos their best chance.

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  18. I really hear you. I gained 17 pounds in just a couple months earlier this year. I am slowly...SLOWLY...trying to lose it, but I'm not having much success. You're totally right - it's impossible to lose weight on these meds. I recently took a cycle off to try to get back on track. I'm glad you asked your RE. I'll be interested to hear what he/she says because I always wonder what they think of the whole weight thing. I've never even heard it mentioned at my clinic. I so hope that whatever the plan is, that you feel comfortable with it.

    Okay...as I'm writing this, I'm realizing that I am WAY behind so this is all old news and you're already moving forward with the next steps, so I'm just going to keep reading and get back on track here. (-: Don't mind me.

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