Monday, April 1, 2013

Coming Out of the Closet

The only person that has known about my blog from the beginning is my sister.  I told her about it and had her read my very first post only a day or two after I wrote it.  I'm not going to lie, I was initially a little embarrassed to have her read it, but I really, really wanted her feedback.  Her response was "oh thanks a lot for making me cry!"  That made me feel better, to know that I could evoke that kind of emotion with my writing.  She has continued to read my blog, but she usually doesn't comment unless I ask her specifically about a post.  I also know that while I was pregnant, she wouldn't look for my blog posts right away because she wanted to hear from me personally about my ultrasounds rather than finding out the good or bad news from a blog post. 

My husband knows about my blog too, but he doesn't read it unless I specifically point out a post to him that I want him to read.  I'm not sure why he doesn't read it.  If he was writing a blog, I know for a FACT that I would be reading it all the time!  I'm not ashamed to admit that I am nosy.  haha!  Whenever I am sitting down at the computer, Hubby will ask me "how is my little blogger chick?"  It's either "Blogger Chick" or "Blogger Wife."  He's always making up little names.  If I'm watching a TV show, he will walk through the living room and say "how is my little reality TV wife doing?"  He's pretty funny, which I appreciate most of the time, but admittedly not ALL the time.  lol

My mom has read a few of my posts that I have specifically shared with her.  She doesn't have a computer or a smart phone, so she doesn't really have access to anything that would allow her to read my blog.  I have shared a few posts with her though and let her read it on my phone.  I'm not really sure she was aware of what she was reading, and she didn't ask, just appreciated what I shared with her.

I have kept my blog private from my family and in real life friends because it's been a safe place for me to write about my infertility struggles without having to filter it and worry about who might be reading it.  It's not a private blog by any means, but it would be a long shot for anyone to just happen upon it.  It's kind of funny really, because I'm not actually a very private person and have no problem sharing about my life, but very few know the intimate details of everything we've been through.

Well, I have now come out of the closet with one of my Aunts.  I have a pretty close relationship with this Aunt, who also happens to be my Godmother.  She has always lived about 4 hours away from us, but my sister and I used to spend every summer with her when we were kids.  Not for like a week, but more like at least a month out of every summer.  I'd been thinking about telling her about my blog for awhile.  I hesitated because I have read from many other bloggers that regretted telling their in real life people.

I finally bit the bullet and emailed her the link to my very first blog post so she could start at the beginning, and I am so glad I did!  She has left a comment on every single blog post she has read so far and it has been so much fun!  Her comments make me smile and I have enjoyed going back and reading my posts again, so I could remember what her comments were referencing.  She knew about our journey before, but now she is getting to know the intimate details.

This whole blogging business has been a great outlet for me, a great source of information and knowledge, in addition to the tremendous amount of support I have found from all my bloggie friends.  Now I get to share it with my favorite Aunt D as well!  Maybe someday I will share it with more IRL people, but for now, we'll just keep it to these few.


25 comments:

  1. My husband doesn't read my blog either. I have commented about it a few times to him. He thinks it is my outlet to share things with other woman who can share support and who I can also lend support to. My only other family member is my sister and maybe a real life friend or two.

    It seemed everyone was so interested when we first started struggling and as the years have went on they don't seem to care anymore. So I quit sharing with people in my real life.

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    1. At least your husband understands that it is an outlet with a lot of support going both directions! You are one of the most supportive friends I have found here! (Thank you :)

      This is too intimate to share with people that don't provide the support we need. Funny how they were so interested at first. I'm sure they still care, but maybe just don't know what to say anymore? I'm glad you have your sister and a few friends, but of course you also have all of us!

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  2. I am like you - no one IRL reads my blog, expect the girls in my Resolve group. My husband, parents and sisters know I have one, but I have never had them read any of time. My bog is not set 'private' but it would be very very hard for someone IRL to find it, since it is linked to a seperate gmail account (learned that the hard way when one of my IRL friends saw and 'followed' it - luckily it was before my first post). If someone IRL did finf my blog, it would likely only be because they were looking for an IF blog. So if they are infetrile, they are welcome to read it! Glad you are enjoying all the comments from yoru aunt - that is really sweet of her!

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    1. That's exactly what I think! If someone happens upon my blog, then they are welcome to read it because it's probably as a result of them looking for IF blogs.

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  3. I have always been a pretty open person, unless I don't like you. LOL~ I find that I do better by being an open book. I honestly can't tell you who reads my blog. I have shared it with family and friends, since they all know my struggles, but I am not sure how many follow, since they dont comment. MY DH knows I have a blog, and reads what I ask him to, although, he did bookmark it a few weeks ago... so maybe he reads more than I know! ;-) He has "pet" names for me too! Sweet Cheeks is one :-)

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    1. Awe, Sweet Cheeks :) I'd say if he actually bookmarked it, chances are he is reading it! I'm so glad we all seem to have supportive husbands, whether they actually read our blogs or not.

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  4. My DH knows I have a blog but doesn't read it either. Lol. Silly men. He knows I use it to find other IF people and connect with them. I don't have any IRL people with IF problems so finding all of my bloggie friends is so important! I don't know if any of my IRL friends or family read it. I haven't told them about it but I do know a friend who follows one of the other blogs I do. So she could've read mine.

    Either way thank you for being a bloggie friend

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    1. Awww, Heather you are so welcome! I'm so thankful for all the bloggie friends I've made, including you!!!! And you are right, silly men. :)

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  5. I too have kept mine from all people IRL except for my best friend. I've found that I can be much more truthful to myself and my thoughts when I don't have to worry about who might be reading it, will I offend them, who will they tell, etc. I started this one as an outlet and a way to connect with other women in similar situations, which sadly is no one in my real life.

    I think it's great you shared with your aunt! We can't go through this completely alone, so reaching out is important. If only I weren't so chicken to let in close family members...

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    1. It is nice to just be able to write, without worrying about what someone else might think. Of course, I find myself worrying about it anyway. That's just me! I'm glad you are making connections through the blogging community. It is so important to know that you are not alone.

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  6. I love that she's commenting on the posts, how fun! Hi Aunt D!

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    1. HaHa! You know what's funny? In one of her comments in an early post of mine, she said "I really like that friend Jamie. I hope her dreams have come true." And I'm happy to report that you have a beautiful baby girl!

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  7. I'm glad you have someone you feel comfortable enough sharing with! It takes some courage. I haven't shared mine with anyone I know IRL, including my husband. He knows I have a blog, but was fine with me telling him I don't want him to read it. Which, by the way, blows my mind-- if he had one, I'd be dying to read it!
    And a big thank you to nogoodeggs. I didn't even think about what e-mail account I had my blog linked to!

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  8. My husband is the only person who knows about my blog. He doesn't read it (at least I don't think he does) because I sort of told him I didn't want him to. I know he has it bookmarked on his computer so he may check it out. Who knows. I know myself and if anyone IRL was reading my blog, I would filter myself and I don't want to do that. At least I don't want to do it anymore than I already do because sometimes I think I hold back even though it's anonymous. I think it's great you feel comfortable enough to start sharing with people you know.

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  9. Sometimes it's hard to bite the bullet and share, but I'm glad it felt good when you did!

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  10. My husband doesn't read my blog either. I'm thinking most guys won't either. Now perhaps if you were posting recipes for beer crafting I'm sure you'd get a few males reading your blog!

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  11. Go Aunt D!!!! What an excellent support person! I would feel so touched if someone committed to reading from the beginning. What a powerful show of solidarity. I want an Aunt D! (-:

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  12. i think whatever works for you is what you should do. i have enjoyed the privacy of it all and it feels like i can be more myself that way, oddly though i have met so many people that it has become this magical way to build friendships.

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  13. I'm glad things are going well with your Aunt reading your blog! Like everyone else has said, my husband doesn't read my blog. He knows about it and has helped with some design decisions but that's it. I've told a few friends and family but I don't think any of them read it. I don't know how I feel about that. On one hand it's nice to have the freedom of saying what I want and I don't have to be embarrassed talking about our sex life. On the other I'm sad because for whatever reason they don't think it's worth reading. I'm not a very open person so telling them about it was hard for me, so it hurt for them not to care.

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  14. I shared my blog with a few people in real life and regreted it. I felt that I had to somewhat edit my posts, which seemed to defeat the purpose of my blog.

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  15. No one in my real life knows about my blog besides my husband, who doesn't read it, and I'm totally happy with that. For me, I need to be able to share completely all the ups and downs of this experience - from the trivial to the monumental - and all the emotions that come with it, and I wouldn't be able to be myself if I knew others were reading.
    I'm glad you've had such positive feedback from your family!

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  16. My blog is open with a lot of my IRL friends, but I don't advertise it and when I share it with people I ask them not to share it with anyone else. I have only chosen to share with people who I know would be interested and supportive. My husband reads (and comments) on my blog because the biggest reason why I blog is to share my journey with my loved ones.

    Each IF blogger has her own reasons for writing, and their own level of comfort with sharing it IRL. I'm glad you've shared your journey with me though :)

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  17. Good for you for opening up. I don't have that kind of courage yet. I've just in the past few months even been open with people in real life about our loss. I'm glad sharing with your aunt has been such a positive experience.

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  18. My husband doesn't read my blog either unless I ask him to. Good for you for sharing your blog with people you know IRL. I'm much to chicken to even let people know I have a blog, much less give them the link. :)

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  19. I don't know if this is a compliment (it is for me) but we are so alike in so many ways so I had to LOL when you said you are so nosy! I would have been reading that blog every day too!!! But in the end, you made the tears well up AGAIN as I am so
    honored that you felt safe enough to share this with me and even more so since your fellow bloggers have regretted sharing with family! So sad for them especially in such a difficult time but so HAPPY that you were able to. As I have said, I've realized that we know each other pretty darn good and you have stated the same about me (remember the online dating questions?) but I thank you for allowing me to really understand what all you both have been going through as well as Sis. This has been eye opening into the infertility world but it has brought up so many good memories and even though I write about some of them here and on email, some of them I have just enjoyed privately! THANK YOU AND LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!

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