I am going to share with them some personal stories that is going to include my infertility. Last year during softball season, I had my first IVF that resulted in a chemical pregnancy. I also had a failed IVF. During the season, I was injecting myself up to four times a day with stim meds. I had to hide from them the pain of our failures, while trying to coach them toward reaching the ultimate goal of winning a state championship which was a very realistic goal.
Last year during our softball season I watched my Grandpa die from cancer, experienced the whole IVF process resulting from two failures, and fell just short of our team goal of playing in the state championship game. We had 8 seniors graduate from our team that had a very bittersweet ending to our season, losing in a close game with a score of 1-2 in a game we were predicted to win. It was an extremely tough three months for me.
Today I am going to share all of that with them. I am going to make it like a show and tell. I am going to take my needles and syringes to help make an impact of everything that IVF entails and what I was going through last year. I was worried about how that might come across if a girl goes home to her parents and says "Coach Amber brought needles to practice today." I didn't want our Athletic Director to field phone calls about it without a heads up, so I ran the idea by him first and got his approval. It's not really any different than a diabetic carrying their injection materials around, or the player on our team that has an EpiPen for bee stings.
You may wonder what any of my IF has to do with my Prom Talk. I plan to tie it in to the sex talk. What if one of them were to get pregnant now and chose to have an abortion, but later in life couldn't get pregnant and suffered from IF? If I myself had gotten pregnant in high school, I don't know what I would have done. I didn't really have the best home situation. What if I had gotten pregnant and had an abortion? I would definitely be regretting that now!
I've done a Prom Talk every year. The girls expect it and many of the parents expect it. They always ask "when is the Prom Talk going to be?" Well, now that Prom is tomorrow night, the time has come for my speech. I'm a little nervous to share my story. I worry about how it will be perceived, by both the players and their parents. I know many of them always go home and share with their parents what we talk about.
About an hour ago, I received an email from the father of one of my players. She is a junior this year, and I coached her older sister for 4 years prior so their family is familiar with this talk. Here is what the dad had to say:
Hey! I just want to thank you for your continued support of our girls! Many people think that your role as coach serves within the realm of softball only… this is not true. You pour your love out as if they were your own… In many respects they are! You want the best for every girl. When they are victorious… you rejoice! When they struggle, you are sad. You never let them settle for mediocrity in sport, which transcends into every area of life.
With prom looming, you will share your heart with our daughters, proving once again, they are more than just your team, but a great gift from our God… whom you love dearly!
Thank you for all you do!
May God continue to bless you in all you do!
I cried as I read this email. It meant so much to hear these words of encouragement and support. Being a coach is oft times a thankless job. These girls do mean the world to me and I am so incredibly grateful that I am allowed to share this time in their lives. I hope that I can make an impact on them as much as they have on me.
Wow that's such a touching letter from the Dad. I wish we could see a video of the talk! You are such an amazing person Amber, and I can tell you have touched so many lives... not many people can say the same.
ReplyDeleteThat email from the Dad meant so much to me! I really do hope I have been a positive influence for these girls. They are such good kids, and I just want so much for them!
DeleteWhat a wonderful letter! I think you're going to receive and outpouring of support! I think you are very brave and smart for sharing with them and giving them something to 'chew on', if you will. I know when I've shared our struggle with some of my employees (they are college students)they have been so supportive and sweet. I think it really opened their eyes. Good luck! You'll have to keep us posted!
ReplyDeleteAww, thank you. I hope at the very least I have given them a stepping stone to making the right decisions and choices for themselves. I will write soon about how everything went.
DeleteYou are pretty amazing. Sending good vibes your way for a moving and informational talk. Your players are lucky to have you.
ReplyDeleteThanks Stacie! I think the talk went pretty well. We will see what kind of feedback I get!
DeleteGood luck on the sex chat with the girls
ReplyDeletelol, thank you :) It's kind of an awkward thing to talk about as an adult with a bunch of teenagers, but somebodies got to do it!
DeleteThat's a great email. I'm so glad the parents also appreciate all you do for their daughters!
ReplyDeleteI think they do for the most part. I have a good group of kids and mostly a good group of supportive parents. I'm anxious to get any feedback from them.
DeleteI teared up reading that email. You are amazing and these girls are lucky to have such a caring, loving, supportive coach. You are seriously changing lives.
ReplyDeleteAww, thanks Teresa! I do hope I have some sort of positive impact on those girls :)
DeleteWhat a sweet email! Recognition of all the love you put out there. You deserve this to come back to you 1 million fold. Good luck with the speech.
ReplyDeleteThose type of emails don't come very often so it was definitely appreciated! I think the speech went pretty good. I will write about it soon.
DeleteAwwwww Amber. So much to have to think about through life. You have learned so much and bless you for sharing it with today's youth and helping them to think about their futures. You will be loved by many for how much you have opened your heart to them!!! I'm so grateful to the Dad for his email to you! It's good to hear from others that what you are doing means something! Now I will go dry my tears! I love you and praying for happiness to come your way at every corner! Auntie
ReplyDeleteThank you Aunt D!
DeleteYou are such a great support and role model for these girls. They are so lucky to have you!
ReplyDeleteI am so extremely lucky to have them too :)
Deletethe love you feel for your girls just resonates through your words. i *know* that you have had a huge influence on their lives, even if it isn't immediately recognizable. having a coach/mentor like you teaches them that they are worthwhile, that someone truly cares about them and is willing to be open and honest with them, and i can promise you that they are eagerly swallowing these little sparks of love and acceptance you offer them. those little sparks will stay there inside of them, creating enduring warmth and light. you are a good soul, and you stand as an incredible example to all those girls one the brink of womanhood. how very lucky they are.
ReplyDeletealso, i have all digits crossed for your FET cycle, medicated or not.
Thank you so much for your kind words. This really means a lot.
DeleteYou're such an amazingly selfless person and a true mentor to these girls! Keep up the good work, Amber.
ReplyDeleteThank you Jessah! I feel the same about you, that you are a truly selfless person and great mentor to the people you have in your life. It shines through in every post you write on your own blog.
DeleteHello from ICLW- I hope your talk went well! And I sincerely hope that as my daughter grows up, she has inspiring role models (like you!) in her life. Keep it up! And best of luck with your own IF struggles- you deserve some success. Hugs...
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for visiting! I hope that your daughter does have great role models as she grows, but you know, it starts with YOU! I'm sure you are doing an amazing job and will lead her to the best people to help mentor her as she grows older :)
DeleteHow did the Prom Talk go? I love that you do this because I don't think that kids hear enough about all of this stuff.
ReplyDeleteAlso, what an amazing note from the father of one of your girls. :-)
I don't think they hear about it enough either. The talk went pretty good actually! I'll hopefully be posting about it tomorrow.
DeleteGood for you for courageously telling your story. I hope it's well received and makes a big impact. How cool that that dad sent you such a nice, encouraging email. I wish I played on your softball team (but if you knew how much I suck, you would definitely not wish the same thing). (-:
ReplyDeleteLOL Em :) You could be that one role player on the team that is the positive attitude that holds the team together!
DeleteI'm so glad that father recognized your efforts and your connection with those girls with his beautiful message. I'm sure it's something many parents think but just never take the chance to write down for you. You clearly touch so many young lives in so many positive ways, and I admire you very much for it!
ReplyDeleteAs coaches, we always hear everything we are doing wrong or their suggestions on how to do it better. Rarely do we ever get positive feedback so it really was refreshing! Thank you so much :)
DeleteI can't wait to hear the details on how this talk went! I wish there were more teachers and mentors willing to do this for tweens/teens! Thank you :)
ReplyDeleteICLW #61
I know this is old, but I love it so much. As a high school coach, I know how thankless the job can be. The hours suck, the pay sucks, putting your life on hold for months...but it is so rewarding! I don't do a talk like this, but every year on Senior Night, I write my seniors a long letter about things I'm telling them that I wish I could tell my high school self. They always tell me it makes them cry and that I'm so much more than a coach. And that makes it all worth it. You sound like an awesome coach, I hope I'm as impactful as you are to your girls.
ReplyDeleteThat is a great idea to do the letters to your Seniors! I'm sure it means a lot to them and I am positive you make a definite impact on your girls as well.
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