Before we started pursuing infertility treatments 16 months ago, I never considered myself an old lady. I mean, 38 is NOT old by any stretch of the imagination. However, in the baby making world, it's getting pretty up there. It actually IS considered old. If you are pregnant, you are considered high risk because you are "advanced maternal age."
I may not have felt old before (IF has made me feel old), but I did have grey hair. My mom was grey by the time she was 30, and at around age 28 I started getting a random grey hair here and there. I don't have a FULL head of grey hair now, but it is definitely visible.
I never thought that I was a vain person. I don't wear make-up and I don't fix my hair all fancy. I wear sweats most of the time and am quite lucky that I get to wear such comfortable clothes every day for my job. I always thought that people look their best in their natural hair color. I actually even think grey hair is quite beautiful, white hair especially. However, I changed my mind when I had grey hair at age 30. The last few years, I have been getting the grey covered up.
Right now, I have a LOT of grey hair. I had an appointment in early January to get my hair done. I had to cancel the appointment because I ended up having my 2nd ultrasound on that day. The decision was easy. I would rather see my baby than have my hair done. We rescheduled the hair appointment for 3 weeks later. I ended up having to cancel again, because I had a D & C on the very same day of the rescheduled appointment.
About a week later, after the D & C, I was at a girl's basketball game at the high school. We live in a small community, so you pretty much know everyone. At the end of the game, I had one of my softball dad's (my absolute least favorite, so not looking forward to the season because of him) say to me "ooohhhh, you're looking a little grey." Yes. I know, asshole. (pardon me) I just smiled and said, "yep. I've actually been grey for quite some time now." Inside I was simmering and thinking about how I wouldn't be grey if I hadn't had a miscarriage.
What I should have told him was "yeah, I would have had the grey covered up by now but I was pregnant so had to cancel my hair appointment because I had an ultrasound. I rescheduled the appointment, but then had to cancel again because I had a miscarriage and they had to remove it from my body. So yeah, I have grey hair." I would have loved to make him feel like the jerk he is. But I didn't.
Today, I finally get to have my hair cut and colored though! I am so excited to cover up my grey hair and to not look like quite the old lady. For crying out loud, I am only 38 years old. I should NOT have grey hair yet! Maybe when I'm 80. By then, maybe I will be able to accept the fact that I am old and will be able to wear it proudly.