Bus Ride Conversations

So far my softball team is 2-2 (won 2 games, lost 2 games).  It's about how I feel our season will go.  We are very average.  This is new territory for me.  I've been coaching softball for 20 years now and only 2 of those years, my team has not made it to the state playoffs.  Not to brag (okay, yes, I am bragging) but in the last 7 years of coaching we have been to the playoffs every year.  We have won a state championship, made it to the state semi-finals another year, and we have won 6 league championships.  I am not accustomed to average and neither is my team.  They have grown up watching the success of the older girls, many of which were older siblings.  It is definitely a challenge to accept being mediocre, while inspiring the girls to play at their best despite defeat.

Last night on our long bus ride home after our game, the girls somehow got on the subject of pregnancy, babies, and surrogacy.  One of the girls was telling a story of someone they know that used her sister as a surrogate.  She was telling the others what a blessing and a miracle this baby was, considering everything they had been through to conceive that baby.  Then they all started talking about baby stories.

For the last half of the bus ride home, one of the senior girls came and sat with me in my seat. We talked about a bunch of different things, but ended up talking about her family. Her first niece was born last year during our softball season and will be celebrating her first birthday soon. This girl told me how much she loves being an Aunt and what a blessing this baby is to their family because her brother and his wife had tried for a long time to get pregnant. Then she got really quiet and apologized. I wasn't exactly sure what she was apologizing for so I asked her. She said she was "sorry if what I said made you uncomfortable, or if it was awkward." I told her it was okay, that life goes on, and it's not something I have a hard time talking about. She went on to ask me if we had ever considered using a surrogate or adopting. We talked a little bit about it, but I didn't share too many details.

Last year during softball season, I did my first IVF which resulted in a chemical pregnancy.  I also did my second IVF, which ended up being cancelled because I only had one follicle.  During that same time, I also lost my Grandpa to cancer.  It was a rough year for me.  None of the girls, assistant coaches, or parents knew what I was going through with IF.  They all know we have been married for a long time and still don't have kids.  They know we want kids, but very few actually ask us about that anymore.

I find it so crazy that these conversations came up on the bus last night, from my softball girls.  It just seemed so random.  The funny part is that I actually planned to share with the girls a condensed version of our struggle in a few weeks.  Well, I guess the seed has been planted for that conversation.

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On a different note:

I saw this picture and I immediately wanted to share it because it's exactly how I feel every Friday!

Hope everyone has a great weekend!!