Random Ramblings

I don't really have anything specific today, but DO have a lot on my mind.

I'm feeling very...unsettled lately.  Like I just don't know what I want out of life right now (besides motherhood).  I'm not really happy with my job.  I mean, I love my job and the people I work with, but I feel like I'm kind of tired of it.  I also just don't feel that happy about the company I work for.  You'd think it would be great working for a gym, and for the most part, it is.  However, the company does not offer any retirement program or health benefits.  Yep, you read that right, this is a fitness club, but they do not offer ANY health insurance what-so-ever!  (Thank God Hubby's job does)  There is no paid sick leave, but you do get 1 week's vacation.  Yippee!

What I do love about my job is that it is one of very few, besides being a teacher, that allows me to work the hours I need to in order for me to be able to coach high school softball.  I go to work at butt crack a.m. (I have to be there at 5:45am, sometimes 5:00am) and I get off by 2:00 each day, sometimes earlier.  Oh, and I have Friday's off.  I LOVE my hours.  Well, let me rephrase that.  I love getting off early and having the rest of my day free.

However, I have been thinking about getting a different job.  I don't know what it would be, but I have started looking online and at the want ads in the paper.  It doesn't even have to be a fancy job.  I just would like a job that I have an opportunity to get benefits and work toward retirement.

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Two weeks from today, the high school softball season starts.  For the first time in 20 years, I am not looking forward to it.  In fact, I really don't want to coach.  Coaching has been my passion for so long now, that it is a really weird place for me to be in.  I am just not looking forward to having NO free time.  Here's what my average day will look like:

 

4:45am wake up

5:15am leave for work

1:00pm get off work, go home, change into practice clothes, go work on the softball field (Uggg!!)

3:40-6:00pm practice

6:00-6:30pm put everything away from practice, talk to players, talk to parents, talk to the assistant coaches

7:00pm eat dinner, do a load of laundry, make my lunch for the next day

8:30pm take a shower

9:00pm watch t.v.

9:30pm go to bed

 

But!!  If we have a game, especially if it's an AWAY game, I have to rush to catch the school bus by 1:15pm and won't even get home until about 10:00 at night!  Then I get to start it all over bright and early the next day.

 

I feel like I'm getting too old for this.  However, I am pretty much locked into coaching this season as it is VERY short notice for them to hire anyone else.  I also do really love the girls.  For the most part.  And we could REALLY use the money right now.  Not that coaching pays very much.  In fact, for the time I put into coaching, I literally make about 5 cents/hour and I'm not even kidding.  I'm not kidding at all.  10 months a year of coaching, but I only get paid for 3 months of that time, the rest is volunteer.  I also live in Oregon.  Most of our spring season it is RAINING!  Do you know how much EXTRA work that means for me to prep a softball field and make it playable?  It's awful and consumes SO! MUCH! TIME!  If only I lived in Arizona or Southern California or somewhere like that.  Sigh....

 

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I am hoping to talk to Dr. W tomorrow to discuss doing our FET in May.  (Another reason why I'm not looking forward to coaching.  I'd really like to be free to do the FET as soon as possible)  I'm also going to talk to her about whether or not I should be concerned over the fact that I am still spotting 2 weeks later after my D&C.  I don't know how long I should expect that to go on.  I also would like to know how long I should expect the cramping to continue as well.  It's not too bad, but I do feel like my uterus is very heavy, like I have a lot of pressure down in the nether regions.  I am about doubled over just before I have to poop.  I have never experienced anything even close to the gas pains I get before having to poop.  That has to stop eventually though, right?

 

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Most noticeable missing pregnancy symptom: taking my prenatal vitamin is now a breeze.  All while I was pregnant, I basically had to gag it down.  And if I wasn't quite gagging on it, it was at least difficult to swallow.  The last week or so, it has been NO problem at all.  Easy as pie.  I didn't have many pregnancy symptoms, but that was one for sure.  Oh, and the insomnia I had.  I can now sleep again.  In fact, I've even had a few nights that I haven't had to get up to pee.  That's actually unusual for me, but not something I'm complaining about.

 

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My fellow infertile Oregonian blogging friend Teresa at Where the *Bleep* is Our Stork? is doing her first GIVEAWAY.  Click on this Giveaway link for the details.

 

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The last thing I'm going to leave you with today is a video.  I think this is an AMAZING video visualizing conception (fertilization) to birth.  Pregnancy/Life really is a miracle.  A woman's body and it's ability to GROW a person inside of them, is mind blowing.  The video is kind of long, a little over 9 minutes, but I have watched it twice now myself.  Just be sure to watch it past the guy talking at the start.  That is when it gets really interesting.

 

 

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Update:  I almost forgot!  I have 15 Clearblue Ovulation tests (digital) that I would love to donate to someone that could use them.  They expire in June, and I would rather see one of you put them to hopefully good use, than for me to throw them away.  I will mail them to the first person that wants them, if you leave a comment with your email address.