Friday, February 15, 2013

13 Weeks

I just realized a little bit ago that I would have been 13 weeks today.  That means, today would have been the day that we started telling our family and friends that we were pregnant.  Today would have officially marked the first day of the 2nd trimester.  Tonight we would have celebrated the fact that we did not have to PIO injections anymore.

Instead I am going in for a beta test to make sure I do NOT have any pregnancy stuff left inside of me.

Today I am also going to my sister's first ultrasound appointment.  I'm not sure exactly how I feel about that.  I am happy to be going.  I think it really helps create a special bond between me and my niece/nephew to be a part of their life from the very beginning.  I also really like being there for my sister and her husband.  It's AMAZING that they let me be a part of it.  I won't be able to go to any other appointments during the next 3 months because of my softball schedule, so I really do want to be there today.

The only thing is, now that I have been a part of that process myself, I am more aware of everything that could go wrong too.  It makes me nervous for them.

I went to a few appointments when she was pregnant with my nephews, but I didn't know better to be worried then.  Even though I was infertile at those times, I guess I was just ignorant about how common miscarriages are.  I sit here and write that, but yet I still am going to this appointment with no doubts that we will hear a strong heartbeat.  I have no expectations of bad news.  She has been having morning sickness for several weeks now.  She has 3 beautiful, healthy children already.  It's just that I now know to appreciate the sound of that heartbeat even more.

I also had the pleasure of waking up with a head cold today.
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15 comments:

  1. JamieFebruary 15, 2013 at 1:38 PM

    My thoughts are with you, my dear!

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  2. SadieFebruary 15, 2013 at 1:57 PM

    So sorry you're not getting to make your own announcement this week. You are brave to be supporting your sister like that, she's lucky to have you and it's wonderful that you get to build those bonds with your nieces/nephews. Thinking of you.

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  3. RisaFebruary 15, 2013 at 2:36 PM

    Thinking about you Amber. You are a great sister :)

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  4. Just TFebruary 15, 2013 at 4:17 PM

    It sounds like you and your sister have an amazing relationship. Thinking about you during this bittersweet moment.

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  5. JenSFebruary 15, 2013 at 4:38 PM

    your relationship with your sister sounds so amazing and it's so great you get to have such close bonds with your nieces and nephews from the very beginning. Hope the appointment won't be too hard for you.

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  6. wherethebleepisourstorkFebruary 15, 2013 at 6:52 PM

    Family is so important. The bond you two share it incredible.

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  7. AnonymousFebruary 16, 2013 at 7:29 AM

    Hope you survived Friday! It is very nice that your sis and bro in law allow you to be part of that - but I also hope that you will allow yourself to step back if it is ever necessary for your mental health! Hope you are feeling better too!

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  8. EmFebruary 16, 2013 at 9:09 AM

    Wow, I really admire the fact that you're able to go to those appointments. That sounds really hard. And those milestones can be so hard - 13 weeks. I'm so sorry.

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  9. Puzzle peaceFebruary 16, 2013 at 2:04 PM

    I am so sorry. you seem like such a wonderful, generous person. I am glad you are here getting this support and please keep blogging. we are all on this road together.

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  10. A Passage to BabyFebruary 16, 2013 at 2:41 PM

    You are truly an amazing person. I'm sorry for your loss, but think it's awesome that you will be able to be a part of your sister's pregnancy.

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  11. amberlynnFebruary 16, 2013 at 6:43 PM

    Like you said on my blog... I had to stop by because of our names! I'm glad your relationship with your sister is so good. I love that my sister and I are so close.

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  12. ShelleyFebruary 17, 2013 at 10:33 AM

    I've been quietly reading your story for the past few months and unfortunately, I can now personally relate to what you've been through the past month. Thanks for sharing your journey. It helps to know how I might be feeling and what I may be going through in the coming weeks.

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    Replies
    1. AmberFebruary 17, 2013 at 11:21 AM

      Shelley, I am so sorry you've had a similar experience with a miscarriage. I have visited your blog and I plan to follow so I can hopefully offer you comfort during this time. I'm so sorry. I am very glad you left a comment, so I can now follow you as well.

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  13. Jessah @ Dreaming of DimplesFebruary 17, 2013 at 3:50 PM

    It shows your strength that you can be there for your sister. I can only imagine the difficult feelings this experience will drudge up for you. Hang in there!

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  14. AnonymousApril 2, 2013 at 4:43 PM

    Amber, this just breaks my heart for you, but again like your fellow bloggers are saying, you are one strong women and don't ever doubt your strengths!!! I'm really praying that you found a sense of calm and peace at this appointment over the prospect of another niece/nephew for you and Hubby to love as you both are so exceptionally good at that!!! And that the heartache isn't overpowering. Auntie

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