Friday, October 23, 2015

And Suddenly, I'm Older

Last Sunday was my birthday.  If I hadn't already reached old lady status, then I'm at least heading there at a lightening pace.  The Over-The-Hill 40 milestone came and went last year.  Now I'm 41!  I've always believed your as old as you feel, or as old as your attitude is. Well, lately I feel pretty damn old.  I know it's my own fault.  I really, REALLY need to take care of myself better.  I think about eating healthier everyday, does that count?  No.  No, it really doesn't.  I WANT to exercise, but wanting to and actually doing it are two totally different things.  My Tuesday/Thursday walks have pretty much gone out the window.  When it comes down to it at night, we always seem to get busy with one thing or another in heading towards bedtime for the kids.  Sigh...

Let me share an embarrassing story.  About a month ago, we went to watch my oldest niece play in her softball game.  There's a playground next to the field and at some point during the game, Tony, my bil, and I were playing with the younger kids.  I was pushing my nephew on the swings and I went to give him an underdog.  Wellllllllll, I pushed him up, ran under him, and totally just kept going and face planted into the bark chips.  I should have been on the field because it would have been the perfect dive into a base.  Arms were reaching over my head, hands scraped against the ground, belly bouncing.  It was awesome.  Let me rephrase that.  It actually hurt like hell and was pretty high on my list of most embarrassing things ever.  I felt incredibly stupid and out of shape.  I felt old.

On my birthday, several of my family members went to Central Oregon to visit the place we had spread my Grandpa's ashes 3 years ago.  It's a beautiful hike to Proxy Falls.  Tony stayed home with Ayden and Rylee that day.  We thought it would be best since he had been gone to Mexico on his mission trip.  That way he got to spend some much needed time with them, and besides that, he's really not a fan of road trips.

Everyone that made the trip, minus my brother and bil because they were taking this picture!

Proxy Falls

We were able to get close enough to reach out and touch it.

From the log that we are sitting on in the picture, is a gorgeous view of the Falls.  At this point, a few in our group chose to stay behind because the trail from there is a little steep. Once you get down to the river, the footing is a little sketchy just because it was necessary to climb on rocks and fallen trees in order to get closer to the falls.  Everyone managed to find a way and only a few came back with wet feet.

On the way back up the trail, I managed to roll my ankle and fall to my knees.  After a few minutes, I was fine and able to keep going.  I made a joke to my sister and bil along the lines of feeling my age, since it was my birthday.  But seriously, a few years ago I would have been jumping from rock to rock and having a grand old time.  I LOVE hiking, exploring, and being adventurous.  Now, I have to be careful or I'm seriously going to hurt myself.

I don't like this new me.  I NEED to make a change so that I can do things like this with my kids as they get older.  We aren't young parents, but that doesn't mean we have to be OLD for crying out loud.  I used to be a trainer.  One of my clients was a 76 year old woman who now competes in several 5k's every month, does mini-triathlons, and just did her first half marathon.  When she came to me, she could hardly get up off the floor.  I remember celebrating with her the first time she discovered she could actually RUN to answer her phone at home.  We celebrated so many milestones together on her journey to being young again.  I now need to do that for myself.  And for my kids.


Here's a few more pictures from our trip last weekend:

My mom with her kids

Eliana age 10, Nathanial a few days shy of 4,
Urijah (my brother's son) 4.5, Steven 5.5, Adilyn 2

My awesome Aunt D (who always comments on my blog) in the lookout tower made of lava rock.

My siblings.
Behind and all around us, is miles and miles of lava rock.


  1. I totally get where you are coming from with regard to fitness. One year ago I finally started my journey to getting fitter and feeling better. I am now 45 lbs lighter. Still a long way to go but I feel so much better. I have also done two 5k walks now and this is something I could never have imagined doing a few years ago. All this to say is sometimes life gets busy and you don't make time to stay fit. I wasted a lot of years of my life this way and missed a lot of great opportunities to do fun stuff with my son over those years. You are 10 years younger than me and if I could go back those ten years and have a redo I would and never let myself get to where I was a year ago. I encourage you to make the time. It will be worth it for your kids to have a mama that can get out there and do physical things with them. Not only will you enjoy doing this with them but you will give them a healthy outlook on life.

  2. You can do it! This week I decided that I have had it. I'm tired of being sore and not being able to move the way I used to.
    I signed up for my fitness pal so I can log what I eat and how much (or little) I'm moving (it works from computers, phones or tablets). Here's to better health!

    p.s. Want an accountability partner? ;)

    1. My fitness pal is what has helped me on this journey over the past year. Journaling has been the only thing that keeps me on track.

  3. Happy birthday Amber! Sometimes we need a little shock to the system to wake us up and get us moving. I know you can do it!

  4. Happy birthday! You sound quite motivated so I'm sure you will accomplish your goals.

  5. Amber, please don't beat yourself up over this!! You know my ups and downs, and you will have yours as this beast runs in the family but I have faith that you will ALWAYS have the energy to enjoy your children, I've watched you and the fun that you create for them and yourself and in that process of taking care of them and having fun with them, you will stay healthy as you can be and you will be where you want to be. It was a PERFECT day on your birthday with the family and getting out and about. And you do realize, it was us 3 old farts that opted out of the hike down to the falls?!!! Maybe that's why Uncle decided we needed to take that trek sooner rather than later again!!!! And if it helps, us old farts discussed while sitting on that log about thinking we are younger than we feel and are. I think I'm younger but feel my age which I believe it's from burying one husband and current husband with health issues which Uncle could see that. I think for you, having babies at your age does the same for you but again, I say, I've seen you and you have so much life in you with those babies when you are playing with them that you will get over this mental hurdle!!! Just keep doing what you are doing as you do try to live a healthy life for you and your family and you will come out on TOP!!!! It was a super week-end and thank you for all the time I got to spend with you!!! That's always a treat for me!!! Love and hugs, Auntie

  6. Happy Birthday!! I turned 49 on the 7th, so I'm really feeling it! Most days I have no aches or pains and feel great. I've fallen a few times and skinned my hands and one elbow. I was trying to learn how to use our elliptical outdoor bike, and it tipped, scared me, and I fell. I'm trying to work out more, too. I'm going to figure out that bike!! I definitely am not 49 mentally, and I hope I don't look that old! I try to remind myself that growing old isn't a bad thing, it's really a privilege not everyone gets.

  7. Happy Belated Birhday!

    Amber, please don't beat yourself up right now. Your days are a constant whirlwind of caring for very energetic little people. Of course you feel tired and have little energy to focus on yourself. And when you do have some down time, it feels nice to not have to fill it with something you're "supposed" to do like what happens during the rest of the day!

    It will calm down, and you will get back to finding time for yourself. You will gets kinda to exercising and all of the other things you want to do. I hope you are kind to yourself while you live these very tiring, amazing, overwhelming, satisfying, and fun toddler days. One day at a time is your mantra. ;)

  8. Happy birthday Amber! I know that it's hard to find time for yourself these days, but it sounds like you are ready to get moving again! Since you are at home with the kids could you incorporate them into a workout? Maybe push them in a stroller up some big hills or start running with them? How about doing a workout video on Youtube with them (or during a nap)?

    I'm in the same mindset as you. I was doing so well with running after having Izzy but since the FET this spring I have been unmotivated and have gained some weight. Time to do something about it!

  9. I'm so late to this, but Happy Birthday, Amber! I'm right there with you on the terrible exercise! Occasionally I'll do a quick workout during Jack's nap, but honestly I'd rather crash and watch some tv or rest on the couch. I will say that my mom was 39 when I was born, my dad was 41. I never even noticed they were "old" parents. They did all kinds of awesome things with me, played sports, etc. I'm sure I wore them out a bit as a toddler, but once I started doing more reasonable things like biking/swimming/hiking/sports they were still really active with me. I have no doubt you and Tony will be those kind of parents too!

    1. Aww, thanks for sharing that with me. I appreciate hearing that you never thought of your parents as the old parents! That gives me hope!