Monday, January 14, 2019

Microblog Monday: Adventures in Drug Screening



I've been working on getting everything in order for the upcoming softball season, now that I am coaching again. There's a few certifications that I need to update, get all my paperwork and official contract signed to officially accept the job, and today I went in for my drug screening. That turned out to be a bit more of an adventure than it should have!

Right after I dropped the kids off at school, I planned on going in for the drug screening. I decided to go to the district office first instead, to show them the necessary proof of identification. After that I'd go to the drug screening place.  That way I'd have more time for my bladder to fill.

That plan didn't work. Apparently, I'm getting a pretty shy bladder in my old middle age. I struggled to squeeze out any pee. What I did manage to squeeze out, I struggled to catch in the stupid little cup. And then I dropped the damn cup in the toilet!! It's okay if you laugh. Ugh. I grabbed some paper towels and fished it out. Then I embarrassingly had to tell the gal I dropped the cup in the toilet.

I made plans to return a few hours later, just before I had to pick the kids up from school. I went home and drank lots of water, hoping things would go better the second time around. I didn't go to the bathroom again until I returned to give my urine sample. But I still struggled! For some ridiculous reason, I had a hard time making myself pee into that little cup! I succeeded in giving about half the amount they asked for. The gal still took my sample and said it might be enough. They will let me know if I need to try again.

All of this made me think about the time I embarrassed myself right after an embryo transfer, when I ended up having such a FULL bladder that I peed on the table. Now THAT was an adventure!




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3 comments:

  1. Funny stories! Well, unless you're living them.

    Enjoy your softball coaching season -- exciting!

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  2. I love you!!! OMGosh but this is so FUNNY!!!!! You are not alone in struggling to hit the cup but I have never dropped the cup in the toilet!!!! Oh I will laugh over this all day! Hope you don't have to do it again!!!! Love & hugs, Aunt D

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  3. Too much, or not enough. We just can never win, can we?!

    And yes, those cups are always awkward. I've peed on my hand, but never dropped it in the toilet. Sigh.

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