Tuesday, March 17, 2015

The Never Ending Sleep Saga Continues

I swear the babies have a built in sensor that lets them know when I curl up in bed for the night.  It never fails that within 5 minutes one or the other of them wakes up crying.  Okay, to be fair it's not ALL the time, but it sure does feel like it lately.

Ayden used to sleep through the night.  What happened to my sleeper?  Now he's waking up a few times/week.  Some might say that isn't so bad and I would tend to agree, if he would go BACK to sleep.  However, he cries incessantly if you put him down and he won't go to sleep if you are holding him.  It's a lose lose situation, especially if he wakes up his sister, which is usually the case.

Rylee on the other hand, has always been a bad sleeper.  We had gotten to the point that she was sleeping in her crib until somewhere between 3-5:00am until I had to go get her, but lately its been more like 10:00 or 11:00pm.  Before we moved, I was usually able to put her back down in the pack n play in the spare room.  That hasn't been working here.  I usually end up just sleeping with her in the twin bed, which I do have to say is at least soooo much nicer than sleeping on the couch like we used to do.

Last night, both babies woke up crying at 10:40pm.  I had just curled up for the night.  Sigh.  I went in and got Rylee and Tony got Ayden.  Since it was so early still, I figured I'd just hold Rylee and lay her back down in her crib until they both went back to sleep.  Tony got Ayden back to sleep and Rylee was conked out in my arms.

This is where I messed up....

I put Rylee back down in her crib.  Guess what?  She started crying and woke Ayden back up.  Frustrating!  I crawled back into bed and waited to see if they would go back to sleep.  After 10 minutes of screaming, I went in to get Rylee, held her for a few minutes, and then put her down in the pack n play with instructions for Tony to go get her if she was still crying after 15-20 minutes.  Then I worked to comfort Ayden and get him settled back down.  Of course Rylee kept crying, so eventually Tony went in and held her for awhile before putting her back down.  Then he went to bed.  I waited so that hopefully she would be good and asleep before I put Ayden down.  Nope, as soon as I laid him down, he started crying and then so did she.  Of course.

I got her and crawled in the twin bed, wishful that Ayden would be exhausted and eventually go to sleep.  Rylee went right to sleep.  Ayden did not.

Finally, after 20 minutes, I decided I'd better go in and settle him down.  However, I'm not comfortable leaving Rylee sleeping in the bed by herself.  I'm afraid she'll wake up and fall out of the bed.  I tried to gently move her to the pack n play.  She started crying of course.  I hoped she would go to sleep after a few minutes.  I took Ayden out to the living room and held him for awhile.  Of course, as I mentioned earlier, he doesn't go to sleep like this, but he is at least content and not crying his little heart out.  My hope is always that he will at least eventually go to sleep.  But.... Rylee kept crying.  And crying.  And crying.  For 30 minutes!

I finally tried to put Ayden back down, but he wanted nothing to do with that.  Again, I hoped he would cry for a few minutes and go to sleep.

We repeated this drama for 3 hours.  THREE hours!  And of course my husband was clueless and sleeping away.  I could be bitter about that (okay, let's be honest.  I AM a little bitter about that!), but I also knew he had to get up and work the next day.  Besides that, I also knew that it would not make a bit of difference if he were to be up and helping.  The babies are perfectly fine until you put them back down.  Then they cry and wake the other one up, regardless of where we are in the house.  So, it wouldn't have helped the situation if he were up too.  That would only result in us BOTH being extremely grumpy the next day.

Finally, at 1:30am and after Rylee had been crying in the pack n play for 40 minutes that go round, I gave Ayden some Ibprofin and made the baby switch again.  I layed down with Rylee in the twin bed and prayed (begged) that Ayden would go to sleep.  Rylee was asleep instantly.  After about 5 minutes, Ayden finally was too.  It was 1:50am.

It makes me feel so bad to let one or the other of them cry for so long, but I CAN'T do both of them at once!  It just doesn't work.  They are too big and heavy, and they would never, ever go to sleep!

I know that there are people that think I am doing the wrong thing by giving in and sleeping with Rylee when she wakes up in the middle of the night, but you know what?  If I had just layed down with her to begin with at the start of all this last night, when Tony had gotten Ayden back to sleep and she was asleep in my arms, we ALL would have gotten sleep last night.  This would have lasted 45 minutes instead of just over 3 hours!  As much as I would like to sleep in my own bed with my husband, I would rather just get sleep period, regardless of where.  Besides that, I know the day will come sooner than later that my daughter will not be sleeping with me anymore.  While it's inconvenient and a little annoying that she doesn't sleep through the night by herself very often, I need to just relax and enjoy the extra snuggles while I can.  Plus, then I get to sleep too!

Now, if only Ayden would sleep through the night again....  If they both aren't sleeping through the night, I am in trouble!


21 comments:

  1. Oh no. This sounds exhausting! Izzy has been waking up a bit recently (I think because of a double ear infection). We can calm her down quickly but just like your kids, most of the time she starts crying if we put her down in her crib and leave her room. The past two times we have put her down in her crib but then sat down on the floor and put our hand on her back. Once she goes to sleep we take our hand off, make sure that she is still asleep, and then sneak out of the room.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I did try doing that once last night with Rylee, and it might have worked if I'd stayed longer, but Ayden was screaming so I was torn between staying or going to him. I'm sorry Izzy's been battling ear infections!

      Delete
  2. Girl, remember the "rules" change when you have more than one. You are in survival mode, and as such, you do whatever needed to get through. Without guilt. Or the need to justify. Sending you extra love and strength to get you through this stage. That said, do you have a white noise machine? That saved us from one waking the other at night. Still does!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In my head the "girl" was said more like "giiiiiiiiirrrrrrrlllllll" when I wrote that. Lol. Also, why does it feel so strange for me to say "woman"? Clearly, I have issues. ;)

      Delete
    2. Stacie, you make me laugh :)

      Delete
    3. We don't have a white noise machine, which has probably been a mistake. Thanks for reminding me that it's okay to do whatever works!

      Delete
  3. Shew that is intense! Sleep trouble is the worst and I can't imagine it with twins!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It definitely is a challenge. I just keep trying to remind myself that it is only a short time in their lives. Even if it lasts a few years (Lord help me), it really is still just a short time in the grand scheme of things.

      Delete
  4. That sounds exhausting...not just the endless crying, but the constant strategizing about how to keep one from waking the other up just when you've gotten him/her back to sleep!! I do not envy you one bit. Hang in there, mama.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks you so much. Pretty soon we'll all be offering YOU words of encouragement to help you get through those sleepless nights! lol

      Delete
  5. Prayers, fingers crossed and anything else that I can think of! This is a hard time in life, times 2, MUCH harder and like I have told you, I had to make a call to the doctor when Timothy was 1 1/2 as I was exhausted from the never ending not sleeping and was told to let him cry, go to the door, talk to him but don't let him see me and let him cry it out. I hate letting babies cry it out but it did work! But at 1 1/2, he learned quickly how to crawl out of his crib and crawl into bed with me (Dad worked graveyard)!! I just don't know that this is possible with twins and don't know what to offer up other than, next doctor's appointment or phone call away, find out what they recommend for twins!!! You all need your sleep! Don't beat yourself up about being bitter about Tony sleeping, we all have those moments too!!! My best wisdom, this to shall pass!! And like you noted, some day Rylee won't need the extra snuggles because it will pass! Sending lots of love and hugs!!! Again, I say, YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, don't tell me they will be climbing out of their cribs at 1 1/2!!!! Ugh. We are only a few months shy of that!

      Delete
  6. I have 11 month b/g twins who have yet to sleep through the night (so I have no useful tips!) . The boy has slept through the night a handful of times, but his sister is a catnapper and frequent waker (she also seems to know when I am just about to drift off to sleep) and last night I got so confused picking up and putting everyone down that I put her back in his cot by mistake, and then got woken up half an hour later by two very disgruntled babies! I usually I end up with girl twin in bed with me from 5.30ish, but don't bring her in earlier because, like you, I don't like leaving her in the bed while I go to her brother.

    I agree with doing what works - not that that stays the same for very long!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ugh! I'm so sorry! That sounds awful too. I feel like I shouldn't be complaining because Ayden does normally sleep through the night. It's just been the last month or so that's been a challenge lately. And really, it's not that bad having to get up and finish the night out sleeping with Rylee. It's just been getting earlier and earlier! But those 3 hour crying jags with both of them in the middle of the night.... That is what is hard! Hopefully we'll both be getting sleep soon!

      Delete
  7. Oh Amber, this sounds just awful for everyone (also, it should be required reading for a high school sex ed class). I obviously have no advice, but I know you and Tony are amazing parents and you're doing the best thing for the kiddos. Hopefully something clicks soon and you can all get more sleep!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha! I agree about including stuff like this in sex ed! lol Thank you so much for your kind words. It's very hard to feel like a good parent when you are sleep deprived and your patience has reached its end.

      Delete
  8. So obviously these two have not gotten the memo that mommy and babies need sleep. I know you have struggled with this for so long now and I have always thought and hoped it would improve, but it doesn't seem that way. Do whatever you need to survive..... If that means co-sleeping, etc. then do it and don't have a second thought.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, I need to remember that it's really not that bad to have to sleep with Rylee if it means we all can get some sleep. We just need Ayden to be on board with that plan as well! I feel guilty complaining when others get a lot less sleep than me. I am fortunate that Ayden has USUALLY been a good sleeper. We just need to get him back on track!

      Delete
  9. That sounds awful! We ended up separating my two permanently into different rooms when Tyler was having a terrible time with sleep. Not sure if that is an option for you...even just for a few months. Separating them was honestly the best decision we made! We also used a white noise machine. Also, how about putting the twin mattress on the floor so if you do end up getting up when you are sleeping with one of them then you won't have to worry about them falling out. We slept with Tyler for quite a while and that's what we did to eliminate the fear of him falling out of bed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They do take naps in separate rooms. It's hard for us to want to separate them at night though because they usually giggle and talk to each other before falling asleep and I hate to take that away from them! We want them to grow up being best friends and I'm afraid to interfere with that. I know we'll have to, for obvious reasons eventually. You know, the whole boy/girl thing....I just don't want to until we have to. Maybe I'm wrong though....

      I LOVE your suggestion of putting the twin mattress on the floor! Brilliant!

      Delete
    2. Aw, that us so sweet that they chat with each other before they fall asleep! As I've learned...do whatever works for you, and what you feel comfortable with!

      Delete