"You got to stop taking Rylee out to the couch and snuggling with her to get her
back to sleep. She will never learn to sleep alone. The longer you do this the
harder it will be to undo. Let her figure out how to go back to sleep on her
own. Trust me. Our parents certainly didn't snuggle with us every single night
and we survived!!"
I do realize this is not a great habit that we have gotten ourselves into. However, I also know that every baby is different. I know that first hand, considering we have twins! I also know that there are a number of different sleep training philosophies, and I believe that not one of them is more correct than another because again, every baby is different. Every PARENT is different also, in what they are able and/or willing to do.
Ayden typically goes to sleep pretty easily. We put him on his belly, turn on his glow seahorse, and he is usually good to go. If he fusses, I go in and pet his face, rub his back a little bit, and pat his butt until he calms down. Then I leave and let him go to sleep from there. If he fusses again (which is rare), I repeat the soothing techniques. Occasionally we have a bad night like the one last week, but mostly he sleeps really good. He does tend to slobber all over everything and sometimes we have to change his sheets if he spits up. He is definitely a mover and a shaker, going from one end of his crib and sometimes back again, but that just seems to be his way of trying to get comfortable throughout the night and his naps. As adults, we roll over and reposition. He just happens to crawl his way across his crib!
With Rylee, she generally goes to bed okay. We still swaddle her. Sometimes she will fall asleep while getting her nighttime bottle. We always hold her upright for awhile whether she is asleep or awake because of her reflux. Then we put her in her crib, turning on the glow seahorse if she is awake. Most of the time, she will go to sleep from there. Sometimes she fusses and we pet her face to calm her down, which she used to love and worked like a charm, but she really doesn't like it so much anymore. We really don't have much of a problem putting her to bed at all. After about 45 minutes, one time through a sleep cycle, she cries out but then will put herself back to sleep.
Both babies usually hit their wall around 6:30-7:00pm and are ready for bed. They are typically asleep by 7:15-7:30pm, sometimes sooner. Ayden will sleep anywhere from 10-12 hours straight through. Rylee usually lasts her 3 hours in the crib and then if I pick her up when she gets agitated, will sleep through the rest of the night as well. This was working for us and we were all getting sleep.
At least that was the way it WAS going with Rylee, and I was okay with it. As much as I would like to sleep a full night in my own bed instead of on the couch, I didn't have a problem with our routine because I know it won't last forever. I was also okay with the way things were going because she was at least going to sleep okay initially and usually went right back to sleep in her crib after her morning bottle.
At first I was able to brush off that comment because things were mostly working for us, but after a few days, I started getting resentful of our situation and having to get up and sleep on the couch with Rylee. Instead of us all just going back to sleep, I laid on the couch being angry that she won't sleep the full night in her crib.
Then the last two nights happened. Monday night she woke up around 10:00pm. I had the brilliant idea of giving her another bottle and then put her back to sleep in her crib. So that's what we did, and then Tony and I laid in bed and actually said "this is brilliant! We should have thought of this sooner!" It was brilliant. That is until Rylee started crying not 10 minutes later. In I went to try soothing her. She wanted NONE of that. I picked her up, trying to calm her down enough to put her back in her crib, all the while keeping an eye on Ayden and praying he wouldn't wake up.
Rylee wouldn't calm down. Okaayyyyyyyyy, so I decided to give her another couple ounces of bottle. Maybe she was still hungry. When she was done with that, she just cried. And cried. And cried some more until she spit up.
Then she cried some more. I tried laying down with her, she cried. I tried putting her in the Rock n' Play, she cried. I put her on the floor, she cried. I wasn't about to put her back in her crib and let her cry it out because you know what would happen then? I would have TWO crying babies awake past midnight, because that's what time it was at that point. She cried for 3 hours.
I finally got her calmed down enough and she fell asleep with me, on the couch at 12:45am. Both babies were up at 5:20am ready for their morning bottle. Of course they didn't want to nap at the same time yesterday either, which would have allowed me to have a nap also. I was exhausted.
Then last night happened. She woke up at 9:30pm. I thought she smelled poopy, so I had to unswaddle her and check her diaper. Nope, she just had smelly gas. Now she was wide awake though, so again, we gave her another bottle with the intention of putting her back down again in her crib. She's always been able to just go to sleep at least initially in her crib. It was just staying asleep that was the challenge. Again, Rylee wanted nothing to do with that brilliant plan. We let her fuss and cry for awhile. I soothed her until she was quiet and then left. Within a very short time, she was crying again and Ayden was starting to wake up. I scooped her up and took her back out to the living room. I held her on the coach, not laying down, until she fell asleep so I could put her back in the crib. She woke up as soon as I laid her down. Dammit! I let her cry a little longer, but again she started waking up her brother. Sigh. I picked her up and out to the couch we went where we all got sleep for the rest of the night.
This morning I put Rylee back in her crib for morning nap. She cried of course. As of last week she didn't usually cry, but now she does. I let her cry it out while I fed Ayden. She did fall asleep, but you know what happened as soon as I put Ayden down for his morning nap? She woke up and cried. So then both of them were awake. I let her cry, which eventually led to Ayden crying. 20 minutes later they both finally fell asleep. It lasted all of a few minutes before Rylee was crying AGAIN!
I feel jinxed. We had a pretty good routine going that worked for all of us, but now we don't. I can only assume that the person that made that comment above doesn't have twins. I would do things differently if I only had one baby, but I don't. We aren't set up to put them in separate rooms, so I can't do that either. I don't really WANT to do that anyway, but we might be forced to put them in separate rooms sooner rather than later. Right now, I am just super frustrated. I am mostly frustrated because I felt like I was doing a pretty good job, but now I feel like a failure. I wasn't worried about sleeping on the couch with Rylee because she at least went to sleep in the her crib so good otherwise. She's just such a restless sleeper. Even with me, she gets very agitated in her sleep sometimes. Now she's not even GOING to sleep very well.
*To Person That Made That Comment, I realized this isn't your fault, but my irrational mind feels very jinxed and judged.
Both babies usually hit their wall around 6:30-7:00pm and are ready for bed. They are typically asleep by 7:15-7:30pm, sometimes sooner. Ayden will sleep anywhere from 10-12 hours straight through. Rylee usually lasts her 3 hours in the crib and then if I pick her up when she gets agitated, will sleep through the rest of the night as well. This was working for us and we were all getting sleep.
At least that was the way it WAS going with Rylee, and I was okay with it. As much as I would like to sleep a full night in my own bed instead of on the couch, I didn't have a problem with our routine because I know it won't last forever. I was also okay with the way things were going because she was at least going to sleep okay initially and usually went right back to sleep in her crib after her morning bottle.
At first I was able to brush off that comment because things were mostly working for us, but after a few days, I started getting resentful of our situation and having to get up and sleep on the couch with Rylee. Instead of us all just going back to sleep, I laid on the couch being angry that she won't sleep the full night in her crib.
Then the last two nights happened. Monday night she woke up around 10:00pm. I had the brilliant idea of giving her another bottle and then put her back to sleep in her crib. So that's what we did, and then Tony and I laid in bed and actually said "this is brilliant! We should have thought of this sooner!" It was brilliant. That is until Rylee started crying not 10 minutes later. In I went to try soothing her. She wanted NONE of that. I picked her up, trying to calm her down enough to put her back in her crib, all the while keeping an eye on Ayden and praying he wouldn't wake up.
Rylee wouldn't calm down. Okaayyyyyyyyy, so I decided to give her another couple ounces of bottle. Maybe she was still hungry. When she was done with that, she just cried. And cried. And cried some more until she spit up.
Then she cried some more. I tried laying down with her, she cried. I tried putting her in the Rock n' Play, she cried. I put her on the floor, she cried. I wasn't about to put her back in her crib and let her cry it out because you know what would happen then? I would have TWO crying babies awake past midnight, because that's what time it was at that point. She cried for 3 hours.
I finally got her calmed down enough and she fell asleep with me, on the couch at 12:45am. Both babies were up at 5:20am ready for their morning bottle. Of course they didn't want to nap at the same time yesterday either, which would have allowed me to have a nap also. I was exhausted.
Then last night happened. She woke up at 9:30pm. I thought she smelled poopy, so I had to unswaddle her and check her diaper. Nope, she just had smelly gas. Now she was wide awake though, so again, we gave her another bottle with the intention of putting her back down again in her crib. She's always been able to just go to sleep at least initially in her crib. It was just staying asleep that was the challenge. Again, Rylee wanted nothing to do with that brilliant plan. We let her fuss and cry for awhile. I soothed her until she was quiet and then left. Within a very short time, she was crying again and Ayden was starting to wake up. I scooped her up and took her back out to the living room. I held her on the coach, not laying down, until she fell asleep so I could put her back in the crib. She woke up as soon as I laid her down. Dammit! I let her cry a little longer, but again she started waking up her brother. Sigh. I picked her up and out to the couch we went where we all got sleep for the rest of the night.
This morning I put Rylee back in her crib for morning nap. She cried of course. As of last week she didn't usually cry, but now she does. I let her cry it out while I fed Ayden. She did fall asleep, but you know what happened as soon as I put Ayden down for his morning nap? She woke up and cried. So then both of them were awake. I let her cry, which eventually led to Ayden crying. 20 minutes later they both finally fell asleep. It lasted all of a few minutes before Rylee was crying AGAIN!
I feel jinxed. We had a pretty good routine going that worked for all of us, but now we don't. I can only assume that the person that made that comment above doesn't have twins. I would do things differently if I only had one baby, but I don't. We aren't set up to put them in separate rooms, so I can't do that either. I don't really WANT to do that anyway, but we might be forced to put them in separate rooms sooner rather than later. Right now, I am just super frustrated. I am mostly frustrated because I felt like I was doing a pretty good job, but now I feel like a failure. I wasn't worried about sleeping on the couch with Rylee because she at least went to sleep in the her crib so good otherwise. She's just such a restless sleeper. Even with me, she gets very agitated in her sleep sometimes. Now she's not even GOING to sleep very well.
*To Person That Made That Comment, I realized this isn't your fault, but my irrational mind feels very jinxed and judged.
Hi Amber! I've been a reader/stalker for a while now. First, congratulations on the twins - what a ride you've been on! You hit the nail on the head; every baby is different, every parent is different. With both of my babies, I used the spaghetti method - throw all your ideas at the wall and see what sticks. So I'll just throw this out there - maybe Rylee is teething? I only say this because my youngest is just a couple weeks older than your twins, and I'm dealing with that right now. One Hyland teething tablet under the tongue helps calm him down a little bit, especially at night. Again, this is just me throwing spaghetti at the wall. :) Good luck & hang in there!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for the congratulations Adrienne, and your spaghetti on the wall idea. I actually really like that, because that feels exactly like what we are doing! I do think the babies are starting to teeth. I never thought of that affecting their sleeping! Thank you for coming out of stalker mode, for your comment :)
DeleteOkay, 1st and not the most important but LOL FUNNY!!! The smelly gas!!! And from such a little sweetie!!!!! 2nd and the most important -- you my dear, are an awfully good mother and by no means a failure. There is no manual for raising children and what works for one isn't going to work for another but bless your heart and Tony's, you are trying and giving everything that you both have got and still even through frustrating moments, love and enjoy each of those beautiful babies and that is all that any of us can do!!!! You are stretched a lot thinner raising twins than those of us that had our babies one at a time and that isn't easy!!! So hold your head up high, cry and be frustrated when you have to WITHOUT ANY GUILT and just keep loving and enjoying those sweet babies!!!!! They are almost 6 months old and have come so far and this too will pass and sleep will eventually come for all of you, at least most nights!!! I love Adrienne's "spaghetti method"!!! That's all any of us have and ever will be doing in most of life's challenges. YOU AND TONY ARE FANTASTIC PARENTS!!!!! No matter how exhausted or frustrated you may be, remind yourself and each other of that!! Love and hugs, Auntie D
ReplyDeleteThanks Aunt D. It's hard not to feel guilty and wonder whether or not we are doing the right things. I realize there really is no right or wrong way. It's just a matter of figuring out what will work for each baby individually! I'm looking forward to seeing you in July! Hope that works out for you to visit. Love.
DeleteOh I can only imagine how much harder it is to have twins! I know I would do whatever it took to get a few hours of sleep. How could you function otherwise? This phase will only last such a short time in the grand scheme of things. That's what I tell myself when I question if I am making the right decisions. Keep up the good work Mama. Every baby/family is different and we all have to do what's best for our own situations.
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard not to question what we are doing as mothers, but I have no doubt that every one of us that has gone through the infertility battle relishes every single moment, the good and the sleepless. Thank you so much for your support and encouragement.
DeleteI'm not the one who made the comment. But I think you need to do some sleep training, the key to which us consistency which you are lacking. With consistency they'll be trained after a few days. If you keep doing what you're doing (ie let her cry sometimes pick her up other times etc.) it'll be months. I think there are some online resources re twins.
ReplyDeleteActually, I do have a couple sleep training books specific to twins and we did use the methods initially, which worked very well for Ayden, and somewhat for Rylee. So I guess you could say we failed at that too since it didn't work for both of them. I will keep checking all my resources and learning from others, and eventually I have no doubt we will settle into a good routine. It might take longer than it should, but I guess that is just the way it's going to be. Thank you for your feedback.
DeleteSleep is sooooo important. You need to be rested and feel good so you can enjoy your babies, not merely get through in survival mode. I had 3 awesome sleepers who sleep-trained well and my last was awful! When she woke most nights (she usually went down just fine too), I would transfer her to her swing, which we kept in her room. I needed to get back to sleep fast, I needed to function the next day and I did not want my older children who had to sit through school the next day to have their sleep affected as well. It worked! I did it til she was over a year, although long before that point I had stopped telling most people due to their reactions. If I heard another "your child should be sleeping 12 hours straight by 12 weeks," I might have punched somebody! About 14 months she outgrew the swing, and was fine all night in her crib. Find what works for you. Might not be the "norm." And keep it to yourself if you don't want negative reactions! She is your child, you know the best way to deal with her! Good luck and I hope you sleep well!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your story! I am learning that there is no magic solution, because every situation truly is different. And you are right, if I don't want feedback, I shouldn't talk/write about it. I do love positive feedback and ideas though. It's one of the things I love about the blogging community, the support and encouragment we get from one another.
DeleteI am a lurker and thought I'd weigh in.
ReplyDeleteThere are so many different theories on baby sleep. You need to do what works for you and each baby is different.
I only have one baby (7 months) and we co-sleep after I gave up on the crib last January, when getting up nursing and settling her back into the crib pushed me to exhaustion. It works for us and at some point, we will go back to the crib, but right now its okay. She still nurses once during the night and even though she could probably stop that feeding, I don't feel bad about it. She wakes up beside me every day with a smile. I sleep way better and can function during the day ultimately making me a better mama and better partner for my husband.
I don't believe she will sleep with us forever and it's creating dependency. She sleeps alone for her naps and is learning to self sooth. But she's still a baby and going through lots of changes.
Cut yourself some slack. Your babies are doing some awesome.
Amber, I am right there with you, friend! What worked for us is all of the sudden not working anymore, and Etta has decided the crib is a horrible place to be at bedtime. She's fine with it for naps. Fine with it after her middle of the night feed. But at bedtime is it made of hot lava. She did this when we first brought her home from the hospital, but it resolved after about a month and we were good to go for quite awhile. Now we're back at it again. SIGH.
ReplyDeleteI can sympathize with you. Each kid is different and needs different parenting. It is awful when your baby is crying and you can't fix it. My kids didn't sleep through the night until they were 8 monthish old. I alway woke up a moment or two before they did and my heart would start pounding just anticipating the screaming. You have to do what you feel is right and if it's sleeping with her on the couch so be it. It won't last forever. People always told me I should feed them at night after 6 month because "they don't need it." You know what? My kids did need to eat at night so I got up and fed him.
ReplyDeleteHave you tried putting a pack n play in your room? Maybe she'd sleep better if your were closer. Or perhaps put in one of your worn shirts in with her so she can smell your scent.
That commenter reminds me of my mother-in-law--"potty training is easy, you just tell them to use the potty." Right...
All I'm going to say is that you are right in that EVERY baby is different, which is why there are so damn many sleep books with so many different techniques. Trust yourself and go with what works for you. What you decide to do will be okay because the only people you need approval from is yourselves. You've got this. Many hugs!
ReplyDeleteMy blood boiled when I read that comment Amber! Clearly that person does not have twins! People just have no idea how difficult it is to get two babies settled to sleep and have them stay asleep and on the same schedule! It is SOOOOOO hard! My Claire has always been the "better" sleeper of our twins but Tyler spent several months sleeping with my husband while I slept in the guest room. Even if he started the night in his crib, he always ended up in our bed and we never felt comfortable with both of us and him in there. Eventually we didn't even bother putting him in his crib...he napped and slept in our bed. We could not let them stay in the same room because he was constantly waking her up. And having two crying babies in the middle of the night is just miserable. We finally decided at about 7 months old that it was not going to work having them in the same room but we missed sleeping together! Luckily we had space to give them each their own room but if we didn't I would have put him in a pack n play in our room or wherever else he could be separate from her. They are a year old on Monday and I hope that one day they can share a room again but for now, separating them is the only way we get any sleep. DO WHAT WORKS! Every baby is different. One day they will both sleep through the night...this is such a brief time in their lives...you will survive! Although I haven't blogged in a very long time, I still read your posts and cheer you on. Twins is so hard but the older they get the better and better it gets. Now Claire and Tyler play so well together! It is awesome! You are doing a great job!
ReplyDeleteI'm a stalker too, and I love your story and have followed you for 3 years. My daughter is now 8 months but up until 5 months, woke up every three hours to feed. I also slept on the couch and I was also miserable. SOOOO many people told me to sleep train because it would make my life better, but you know what? After so much hard work to bring her here, I know she won't be sleeping with me forever. When that day comes, I know I'll remember with so much love all the nights with my cuddle buddy. It won't last forever, and when it's gone, it's gone. My personal response to the sleep train brigade? "Yes, I know it will make MY life better, but will it make hers?" For my baby, I know she appreciated every night I held her. She falls asleep now by herself and sleeps soundly through the night for 11 hours (it just happened one night!), and I miss all those couch nights just like I thought I would.
ReplyDeleteAw poor thing....this stage is so hard. My first had reflux, so I was prisoner to the "sitting up for 30 minutes after eating" thing. It makes it hard to consider sleep training. You do what works for you! When she is older and the reflux isn't as much of an issue, then you can consider sleep training if you want to! You aren't doing anything wrong and you need to be able to get some sleep to take care of two babies--it's about survival, so forget "bad habits" for now!
ReplyDeleteMy opinion is every baby is different and what works for one will not work for the other. I hope you get this all figured out and do whatever you need to in the meantime to make things a little easier.
ReplyDeleteI don't have twins, but I do have two kids under age 2. My youngest slept in her crib quite easily from 2 weeks and beyond. We've had some hiccups along the way. Whenever she is about to or has reached a milestone (such as sitting up, crawling, or getting her first tooth) she would suddenly begin to sleep very crummily - lots of fussiness and night wakings. This lasted only a few days each time, thankfully. I think that what Rylee is doing is completely normal. My son was a completely crummy independent sleeper. He would wake each night after a few hours and become fussy until I held him. Like you, I would cuddle and sleep with him just in order to get some much needed sleep. There are times in parenthood when we all must do whatever is necessary to just get by. If cuddling with your baby for a few hours at night is what YOU need in order to be the most effective parent, then by all means do it! I have never once regretted spending all of those extra hours with my baby son in my arms. He's almost two now and it amazes me how fast his "baby" stage went. He's a toddler now. If anything, I am so incredibly thankful that I was able to cuddle with my little man a bit extra because he will never again be that small. For the record, he now sleeps in his own bed through the night. It was a transition, but he's completely fine. What you're doing is not wrong - it's different and it works for you.
ReplyDeleteIf Rylee was 25 years old and still needed you to sleep on the couch with her every night, I'd give you some tough love and tell you to let her sleep train herself. But she's a tiny baby! She'll outgrow it eventually and be fine. In the meantime, do whatever you need to do.
ReplyDeleteWe have some friends whose 3-yr-old boy and 18-month-old girl share a room. But they keep each other up all night when they go to bed at the same time. So they put the boy in their bed at his 8:30 bedtime and then move him to his toddler bed in his sister's room when they go to sleep at 11. Honestly, I've felt a little judgey at their situation because it seems ridiculous to me. But if it was the only way I could get any sleep all night, I'd probably try it too. Do whatever works.
I haven't commented before, but read your post - just wanted to chime in to say that I often think how much harder it must be with two babies! Especially with sleep issues since one crying baby can wake up the other one. I have a 20-month old girl who has thankfully always been a good sleeper, but I don't think it's due to anything special we did. She was able to sleep through the night even as a newborn, and on nights where she does wake up with teething, etc., I generally go soothe her back down. (So we never really used a specific approach or read any books on it - just went with what felt right - sometimes letting her cry, sometimes soothing, etc.) The fact that you have twins where one sleeps well and the other has issues with it just illustrates the fact that babies come with their own predispositions. I don't have any great advice to offer, other than to say that I know if I had two I would be trying the various things you have been doing. I would agree with the other commenter who suggested that teething might be starting. Our baby was getting teeth from a very young age, so you could try some teething gel or tablets, or a small dose of pain relief to see if that settles her back if you suspect she might be in a little pain. It sounds tough - I know if we have even one night with a wake-up from our little one it really throws the day off for me, so I can't imagine having multiple nights and trying to care for two with different schedules! Hang in there and I hope her schedule settles into a better routine soon.
ReplyDeleteI think you do what you have to do for some sleep! It will all work itself out in the end. She'll be fine. She had a traumatic first few months, I think you are doing amazing with her and as a mommy.
ReplyDeleteCo sleeping is an awesome way for everyone to get some sleep. Please ignore those commenters who tell you what you "should" be doing and how "a,b, or c" will "never happen" if you do this or don't do that. Your babies will only be small for a very short time - enjoy them and sleep wherever/whenever you can. I have done the same with my 3 (3, 6, 9) and yes, they will eventually not need you to cuddle them all night and be plenty independent! Enjoy them :)
ReplyDeleteSorry you are dealing with sleep problems. I don't have advice because we sort of used a hodgepodge of ideas to get on the sleep schedule we are on now. I have no idea what worked. Mostly, I think we are lucky and got good sleepers and it has nothing to do with anything we did. Also, different methods seemed worked on each of them. There was no one size fits all. You have to what feels right and works for your family and each baby. Don't worry about what other people think. She won't need you to cuddle her forever. At some point she will grow out of it and sleep just fine on her own.
ReplyDeleteI will say that I have found by letting them cry in the same room as each other and not taking the crying one away for fear of waking up the sleeping one has made them both sort of immune to the crying. they can both sleep through any sort of meltdown their sister might be having. So far. Again, not sure that will work for everyone. Hang in there. Hoping you get to sleep a full night in your bed soon.
I'm delurking because I need you to know I think you are an amazing Mom. I've read your blog since I went out on maternity leave (last August - though I've read almost since the beginning, trying to catch up to your story). My 10 mo b/g twins are still not sleeping through the night consistently. You know what - it took a lot of love (and a whole lot more science!) to get my kiddos here on Earth with me, and I don't care that all my friends tell me I should stop nursing them at night. We all do what we can to support our babies and ourselves. They won't be crying in the middle of the night wanting you forever. I'm sending you a great big hug, and the hopes for a long family nap in the near future.
ReplyDeleteI empathize with you. I do not do well at all without good sleep. I have no "tried and true" methods because I somehow lucked out with my two and that makes me feel extra sympathy for mommas struggling with sleep. Here is some "spaghetti" for you...and it is all truly just spaghetti. :-) I know they say back to sleep but if she has good head control maybe she would prefer to go down on her stomach? Maybe she no longer likes the swaddle? Maybe she needs a touch of Tylenol before bed (teeth)? A warm bath with the nighttime scent soaps? Diapers specifically for nighttime? Maybe warm water in her bottle at the first wake-up instead of formula (in case she wants the bottle itself but not necessarily the food to fill up her stomach)? Swaddle her body but not her arms? A white noise machine in their room?
ReplyDeleteI am hoping you find your magic combination for her soon. Due to home renovations we had our oldest's crib in our room for the first two years of her life...she is five now and we had to put a cot in our room to make space in our bed. LOL I could force her into her own room but we choose not to for now. Whenever anyone makes a comment about her being in our room I just remind them that she will surely have moved herself to her own room well before college so I am not concerned. :-) Many hugs sent your way!
Hi amber! I don't have twins as you know but my Emma has had the same problems. Might I suggest a few things... I can only speak from experience but this is what worked for us. Emma had to be swaddled but as she got older she hated it but needed it to fall asleep. So I was stuck going in and out of her room multiple times to swaddle and unswaddle. It was exhausting! I found a solution to this problem with something called baby Merlin's magic sleepsuit. It helps transition out of a swaddle. Maybe she is just frustrated that she can't move or something. Again I don't know if this will work but it helped us in getting her to sleep. She was still up a lot after that but she would go back to sleep fast. I literally just did the CIO method to fix the constant waking issue. It worked after 3 days. But it would be hard for you with twins. Could you possibly put her in a pack n play in a different room for a few nights so she don't wake up her brother? Then after the CIO move her back to the same room. I don't know your feelings on CIO but that is what I had to do. It took me 10 months before I felt ok with doing it. I hated the idea though for a long time. Another thing I was thinking is her teeth are coming in. Emma got her first tooth at 5 months. I had to give her Tylenol. But it still sucked. I hope you get some relief soon. CIO is what has really saved me. But the sleepsuit really helped transition out of the swaddle. Praying for you girl! Stay strong!!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHere is the link to the sleepsuit if you are interested...
ReplyDeletehttp://www.magicsleepsuit.com
I love your comment about how you know that every baby is different because you have twins!
ReplyDeleteSeriously, Amber, you are doing a great but really hard job. Hang in there, and don't be so hard on yourself. I hope Rylee will find a way to sleep better soon. Hugs.
Long-time reader w 12 mo b/g twins here. Delurking to say that 1 of the 3(!!!) GI specialists w/whom we consulted for my son (severe colic & reflux) told us to never, ever let his crying escalate. I.e., at the first whimper--RUN to him, and do whatever it took to calm him down as quickly as possible, or else we'd likely have a multi-hour scream fest. Given that this was exactly the behavior we'd seen (sometimes even only a minute of delay could lead to an hour of full-on inconsolable shrieking, followed by a painfully restless night), we followed this advice faithfully for many months. The idea is that some babies w/colic and/or reflux simply have no capacity to self-soothe yet, and trying to get them to do so before they're ready just agitates their already irritable nervous system to the point where they truly & completely lose it. In which case, the healthy, loving, and responsible thing to do is exactly what you've been doing for sweet Rylee--letting her sleep on you if that's what she needs to finish up a full night of sleep. (For us, it meant that my son *only* slept on people--and my husband had to sleep cross-ways in a big chair--for 10.5 months. So we truly felt your pain.)
ReplyDeleteAnyhow, this is just a long-winded way to say that although all good mothers doubt themselves, I hope you won't let someone who hasn't walked a mile in your shoes while carrying your children get you down for long. There's at least one well-respected NYC colic & infant reflux doctor out there who I'm sure would agree with your many readers that you are doing a great job.
You said the only important thing, early in your post. EVERY BABY IS DIFFERENT. You know yourself and your babies better than anyone else. Keep doing what you're doing, and eventually things will be exactly as you need them to be.
ReplyDeleteStopping by your blog to say thank you for your kind comment recently and wow, yes, every baby and every parent is different. Sounds like you are doing an amazing job and I know sometimes may be tough, but please be kind to yourself…your obviously loved on this blog and that says a lot about you as a person and as a mother. Congrats on your twins!!
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