It has to be noted - I'm posting two days in a row! Miracle of miracles.
So about this morning sickness thing. I actually consider myself to be quite lucky, but I'm afraid my luck might be coming to an end. In 13 weeks, 5 days, I've only actually gotten sick, as in actually puked, 3 days in all that time. I've had other days where I just didn't feel very good, but nothing too severe.
It's funny how an infertile person (me) puts so much stock into pregnancy symptoms. After everything we've been through, we just need that reassurance that something is going on. Whether it's sore boobs, nausea, food aversions/cravings... It doesn't matter, those symptoms just help provide peace of mind and it's something that we LIVE for.
Even though it's nice to have those signs of life still growing inside of you, I have to also say I've been pretty fortunate. Only 3 days of actual vomiting? I know that makes me lucky. I also didn't have sore boobs for the longest time. In fact, my boobs themselves don't really hurt, but oh boy do my nipples. Yikes. My nipples have been quite sensitive and achy for the past few weeks. I can live with that.
I do have to pee several times throughout the night. At least twice, but usually 3 times and sometimes up to 4 times. That makes me very nervous for down the road when I'm sure that number will increase.
Eating breakfast is a challenge. I simply do not want to (or can't) eat very much in the mornings. I try to force myself though, because if I don't eat much, that is when I feel the most nauseous, which again, hasn't been too bad for the most part. I consider myself lucky.
Did mention how that luck might be changing?
The first time I got sick was a Sunday afternoon, way back on July 7th. It was the only softball free weekend we have had the entire summer till now. I was very thankful I was home that day. I made french toast for breakfast. It didn't taste very good to me that day and within minutes of taking my last bite, it all came back up. I thought, Cool! and I bragged to Hubby that I just got sick for the first time. He proceeded to celebrate too. I didn't feel nauseous or anything that morning. I simply just couldn't keep my breakfast down. I knew I needed to eat something and feed these babies, so a little later, I ate two peaches. As soon as I took my last bite, those immediately came up too. Hhmmm... Well, that kind of sucked, but again I didn't FEEL bad. I was a little hesitant to eat anything again the rest of the day for fear of puking again, but I managed to make it through the day and didn't have a repeat incident again until last week. Sorry if any of this makes you lose your appetite for french toast or peaches.
Last week we were in California with our softball team for Nationals. We were eliminated from the tournament early and had a free day on Friday before we were scheduled to return home. Instead of ending the week on the disappointment of losing, we celebrated our success of the summer by taking the team to California's Great America, a theme park. We had just arrived at the park and the girls, along with several parents, were in line for their first roller coaster ride of the day. I was sitting in the shade with two other parents, when suddenly I didn't feel very good. And then I thought, wait, I think I might throw up. So I asked where the bathroom was and started that way. It wasn't very close. I did my best to get out of the crowd of people. I made it around a corner and lost my cookies. Right there on the concrete. Then I turned and found a bush to finish in. There were people on the other side of the bush, but I don't think they paid much attention to me. Phew! After that, I made my way to the bathroom, washed my face, rinsed out my mouth, and I was good for the rest of the day! I wasn't nauseous and felt great after that. I was actually thankful for the reassurance that, okay, there's still something going on in there! My babies must still be there. And yay! They are!
Then today.... Ugh.
By far the worst day so far. I had my first client at 6:00 this morning and then another at 7:00. As soon as I finished with my second client, I really didn't feel well. I went into the bathroom, feeling like I was going to be sick. I hung out in there with my head against the wall, wanting to just get it over with. It took a few minutes, and I wasn't sure it was actually going to come. I was afraid to walk back to my office and lose everything on the floor in front of members on my way. I waited it out because I was feeling so poorly. I wanted to curl up on the bathroom floor, but...ewwww.
It was the most violent I have been sick in a long time. My nose was running, my eyes were watering. I just wanted to lay my head on the toilet seat, but again, gross. Not on a public toilet! I cleaned myself up and noticed that I had red spots under my eyes. Apparently, I broke a few blood vessels under my eyes during this fiasco. I looked a mess.
Fortunately, I had a break in clients for the next hour. I went next door to Jamba Juice and got some oatmeal. I knew I needed to eat something since I just lost all my breakfast. I was able to keep it down, but I felt really crappy the rest of the morning through my next couple clients. I had another appointment scheduled at Noon with a new guy. I still felt like I might be sick again so I decided to call him and reschedule. I didn't think it would be a good idea to maybe ralph all over a new client during our very first session. I left work, came home and took a nap.
I feel a little better now, but am wondering if I am entering a new stage of pregnancy. Maybe I skipped the first trimester morning sickness and I am going to be lucky enough to have it in the second. I don't mind feeling a little nauseous, but it's totally another thing when you are afraid you are going to throw up at any second. I actually don't even mind that part, as long as it's like the first two times when it went away completely right afterwards. But how does a person make it through work feeling like that all day long? I know where all the bathrooms are at work, and I've scouted out the garbage cans just in case, but God forbid I lose it in the weight room or on the cardio floor one of these days. I would be mortified!
When all is said and done, I am so extremely grateful for having to worry about this. I feel very fortunate and lucky that I have escaped morning sickness to date, for the most part, but am nervous for what may be in store. Today was pretty miserable.