Feeling Humbled

I have to say that I am very humbled by the response I received from my last post.  The support you have all given me was amazing and much needed.  Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart.  I honestly had no idea some of you were still actually reading my blog.  It was a great reminder to me of how important it can be to comment when reading other people's blogs, just to let them know you are still there.  I haven't had a chance to go back and reply to everyone, but please know that your kind words meant so much to me and was exactly the pick up I needed to pull myself out of the dark hole I was burying myself in.

Many of you offered suggestions on ways to meet people and overcome my loneliness.  I'm not afraid of trying new things or joining new groups, even though quite often I feel awkward and out of place.  It's funny, because I can be very outgoing in certain situations, but in a lot of social settings I feel flat out shy and find it hard to connect.  That doesn't stop me from trying new things out though.  It just might keep me from going back if it doesn't feel like the right fit.

Here's some things I've already done since moving to our new town:

• joined the local Mommy Connection Facebook site
• met another set of twins close to Ayden and Rylee's age that we do play dates with several times/week
• went to story time at the library until it ended for the summer
• participated in the big local consignment sale as a consignor and a volunteer worker.
• attended two different churches in an attempt to find a church home
• joined a mommy walking group (had to stop because it was right when Ayden and Rylee converted to one nap and it fell right in the middle of nap time)
• take Ayden and Rylee to the park most days of the week, and we walk almost every where here in town
• we have met most of our neighbors.  There is a family a few doors down with two kids that we talk to every once in awhile.  There is a slight language barrier because they have a very strong middle eastern accent.  The grandfather doesn't speak English at all, but he is very friendly and I enjoy being around him outside with the kids.
• we continue to plan play dates with friends back home, and stop by my sister's so Ayden and Rylee can play with their cousins.  This happens maybe once or twice a month, but it takes a toll because it means a minimum of two hours (sometimes three) spent in the car on those days and Ayden and Rylee only get broken up car naps.

And this is what I plan to do in my attempt to meet new people and make new friends:

• join the local organized playgroup that started this week now that school is back in session.  We attended our first playgroup yesterday and it is something that we hope to continue.
• Story time at the library starts up again this Friday.
• we would still like to find a church home, but we have been busy and away from home so many weekends this summer that it has been difficult.  We still have a few weekend trips away coming up, so it won't happen any time soon.  Plus, it's been hard to get motivated to find a new church when we hope to buy a new house and move from here around April and we'll have to start the process all over again.

I'd love to get involved with other groups, or sign Ayden and Rylee up for some classes, but we live in a small town about a half hour out of Eugene where there are so many other options available.  That wouldn't be a big deal, except what that means is that Ayden and Rylee usually fall asleep in the car on the way home and then I'm lucky if they take an actual real nap.  They NEED to take longer than a 15-20 minute car nap.  Let's be honest, I need them to take more than just a short car nap!

I know that as Ayden and Rylee get older and are more involved in things like sports and school, we will meet more people and make new friends.  It will just take time.  It's hard not to miss my old life sometimes.  Honestly, it's not the "life" I miss, but my friends.  I miss having my friends to talk to and do things with on a daily/weekly basis.  I love my new life and I love my babies, but it is hard feeling like my friends have gone on and left me behind. In addition, some days as a SAHM, it simply gets overwhelming dealing with toddler crankiness and tantrums.

Again, thank you for "listening" and supporting.  Thank you for continuing to read my blog and follow our story through the struggles and the triumphs.  I appreciate you more than words can say.