Last week, I got a comment on my post regarding Rylee sleeping with me on the couch. It said this:
"You got to stop taking Rylee out to the couch and snuggling with her to get her
back to sleep. She will never learn to sleep alone. The longer you do this the
harder it will be to undo. Let her figure out how to go back to sleep on her
own. Trust me. Our parents certainly didn't snuggle with us every single night
and we survived!!"
I do realize this is not a great habit that we have gotten ourselves into. However, I also know that every baby is different. I know that first hand, considering we have twins! I also know that there are a number of different sleep training philosophies, and I believe that not one of them is more correct than another because again, every baby is different. Every PARENT is different also, in what they are able and/or willing to do.
Ayden typically goes to sleep pretty easily. We put him on his belly, turn on his glow seahorse, and he is usually good to go. If he fusses, I go in and pet his face, rub his back a little bit, and pat his butt until he calms down. Then I leave and let him go to sleep from there. If he fusses again (which is rare), I repeat the soothing techniques. Occasionally we have a bad night like the one
last week, but mostly he sleeps really good. He does tend to slobber all over everything and sometimes we have to change his sheets if he spits up. He is definitely a mover and a shaker, going from one end of his crib and sometimes back again, but that just seems to be his way of trying to get comfortable throughout the night and his naps. As adults, we roll over and reposition. He just happens to crawl his way across his crib!
With Rylee, she generally goes to bed okay. We still swaddle her. Sometimes she will fall asleep while getting her nighttime bottle. We always hold her upright for awhile whether she is asleep or awake because of her reflux. Then we put her in her crib, turning on the glow seahorse if she is awake. Most of the time, she will go to sleep from there. Sometimes she fusses and we pet her face to calm her down, which she used to love and worked like a charm, but she really doesn't like it so much anymore. We really don't have much of a problem putting her to bed at all. After about 45 minutes, one time through a sleep cycle, she cries out but then will put herself back to sleep.
Both babies usually hit their wall around 6:30-7:00pm and are ready for bed. They are typically asleep by 7:15-7:30pm, sometimes sooner. Ayden will sleep anywhere from 10-12 hours straight through. Rylee usually lasts her 3 hours in the crib and then if I pick her up when she gets agitated, will sleep through the rest of the night as well. This was working for us and we were all getting sleep.
At least that was the way it WAS going with Rylee, and I was okay with it. As much as I would like to sleep a full night in my own bed instead of on the couch, I didn't have a problem with our routine because I know it won't last forever. I was also okay with the way things were going because she was at least going to sleep okay initially and usually went right back to sleep in her crib after her morning bottle.
At first I was able to brush off that comment because things were mostly working for us, but after a few days, I started getting resentful of our situation and having to get up and sleep on the couch with Rylee. Instead of us all just going back to sleep, I laid on the couch being angry that she won't sleep the full night in her crib.
Then the last two nights happened. Monday night she woke up around 10:00pm. I had the brilliant idea of giving her another bottle and then put her back to sleep in her crib. So that's what we did, and then Tony and I laid in bed and actually said "this is brilliant! We should have thought of this sooner!" It was brilliant. That is until Rylee started crying not 10 minutes later. In I went to try soothing her. She wanted NONE of that. I picked her up, trying to calm her down enough to put her back in her crib, all the while keeping an eye on Ayden and praying he wouldn't wake up.
Rylee wouldn't calm down. Okaayyyyyyyyy, so I decided to give her another couple ounces of bottle. Maybe she was still hungry. When she was done with that, she just cried. And cried. And cried some more until she spit up.
Then she cried some more. I tried laying down with her, she cried. I tried putting her in the Rock n' Play, she cried. I put her on the floor, she cried. I wasn't about to put her back in her crib and let her cry it out because you know what would happen then? I would have TWO crying babies awake past midnight, because that's what time it was at that point. She cried for 3 hours.
I finally got her calmed down enough and she fell asleep with me, on the couch at 12:45am. Both babies were up at 5:20am ready for their morning bottle. Of course they didn't want to nap at the same time yesterday either, which would have allowed me to have a nap also. I was exhausted.
Then last night happened. She woke up at 9:30pm. I thought she smelled poopy, so I had to unswaddle her and check her diaper. Nope, she just had smelly gas. Now she was wide awake though, so again, we gave her another bottle with the intention of putting her back down again in her crib. She's always been able to just go to sleep at least initially in her crib. It was just staying asleep that was the challenge. Again, Rylee wanted nothing to do with that brilliant plan. We let her fuss and cry for awhile. I soothed her until she was quiet and then left. Within a very short time, she was crying again and Ayden was starting to wake up. I scooped her up and took her back out to the living room. I held her on the coach, not laying down, until she fell asleep so I could put her back in the crib. She woke up as soon as I laid her down. Dammit! I let her cry a little longer, but again she started waking up her brother. Sigh. I picked her up and out to the couch we went where we all got sleep for the rest of the night.
This morning I put Rylee back in her crib for morning nap. She cried of course. As of last week she didn't usually cry, but now she does. I let her cry it out while I fed Ayden. She did fall asleep, but you know what happened as soon as I put Ayden down for his morning nap? She woke up and cried. So then both of them were awake. I let her cry, which eventually led to Ayden crying. 20 minutes later they both finally fell asleep. It lasted all of a few minutes before Rylee was crying AGAIN!
I feel jinxed. We had a pretty good routine going that worked for all of us, but now we don't. I can only assume that the person that made that comment above doesn't have twins. I would do things differently if I only had one baby, but I don't. We aren't set up to put them in separate rooms, so I can't do that either. I don't really WANT to do that anyway, but we might be forced to put them in separate rooms sooner rather than later. Right now, I am just super frustrated. I am mostly frustrated because I felt like I was doing a pretty good job, but now I feel like a failure. I wasn't worried about sleeping on the couch with Rylee because she at least went to sleep in the her crib so good otherwise. She's just such a restless sleeper. Even with me, she gets very agitated in her sleep sometimes. Now she's not even GOING to sleep very well.
*To Person That Made That Comment, I realized this isn't your fault, but my irrational mind feels very jinxed and judged.